SHE'S GONE

And I never even got the chance to sit about in underwear with her all day!

So, with every new account of the Shark’s desertion to New York, the further in it sinks that she’s gone. It’s weird going past her place and not seeing every single POSSIBLE light on. However, I am taking comfort in the fact that although I've activated the deadly fin on the odd occasion, at least there is no possible way that I can remind her of her mother.

Small comfort also in that I can now jog around the park without feeling that I am dying and only require one pit stop. Firm buttocks of a 21 year old here I come. I got that slightly wrong on Thursday night when I grabbed the firm buttocks of a young man instead.

I had already been warned that he was a charmer but nothing had prepared me for his puppy dog eyes. I’ve taken to walking a young puppy at work along the canal during what I now know to be a break. She goes absolutely mental when she sees me and I kind of feel the same way. I really shake off the filth of the average working day while she scampers around, rolling in shit, and we wander by the water in the sun and the rain Last week she jumped into a smelly rancid pond after a duckling but I swear you’d forgive her anything when she looks up at you. I’ve become very maternal and report back to her owner every day on the quality and texture of her stools. Well, sometimes I don’t have time to walk her and she breaks my heart following me with her little puppy dog eyes.

He was like that. Looking at me like I was the most fantastic woman of earth. And me sitting there with dirty hair, hairy legs and a neglected bikini line.

PS Mars is by the rising moon at the moment.