We set off for Eden packed with backpacks, tents and winter woollies (well I had mine). The train was packed, absolutely packed. At £70 a ticket we were determined to get seats so I marched us into first class where we enquired about upgrades. Luckily, the train manager didn’t come back to us again, although he said he would and he did move others on. We sat in luxury for the whole 4-hour journey while whole families sat on the floor in the train vestibules. For those of you not in the know, this is the bit in between carriages, where the smelly toilets and extremely loud announcements are. The train company couldn’t understand why the train was so packed and mentioned the Bank Holiday with no knowledge that a 5000 capacity festival was happening in Cornwall every night over the weekend. Still, we were happy with our First Class carriage and complimentary drinks. I did confess to the catering man that we had not yet upgraded due to a faulty ticket machine and I was thanked for my honesty while Perry glared at me. I just can’t lie but luckily the rossers didn’t come to fetch us. I’d like to think that it was our charm that got us away with it, but in reality it was just the overwhelming number of passengers without seats.
I was inundated with text messages from the competition winners for the entire day and night. They had been asked to dress up as animals and the winners were to meet their heroes that very day, so I humoured their high jinx in good spirit. Well, you can’t ruin their fun, and I loved it anyway. Inevitably there was a light drizzle when the WB picked us up at the station, which quickly developed into full on rain as we pulled into the campsite. The site was basic and really high up and the visibility was low. I marvelled at there being a hill by the site, until the WB pointed out that it was a quarry, and we were surrounded by them. The top of our quarry was cloaked in mist and we out our tents up in a light drizzle. Joy, but in truth Perry and I really didn’t care. We put our tents up super quick and the taxi arrived to take us to the venue before I was ready but we rushed off remembering to stop for vodka and mixers on the way. Thank goodness we did or we would have been stuck without provisions. However it did mean that I had the lug 5 litres of liquid with me at all times.
The competition ran late but was a lot of fun and everyone had a great time. I was off duty by 5.30pm and Perry and I started having fun immediately. We visited the pods, not stopping long in the tropical one as we couldn’t breath, got some food and drink and got ourselves a good position for the gig. It was amazing and the pods provided a brilliant lighting effect and surrounding. I’d never seen GF in festival condition and Perry had never seen them live and it was one of those days where I just love my work. At the end of the night we climbed to the top of the hill with lots of other stragglers and faced hell itself getting a cab home. It was anarchy with every man out for himself. I assumed battle mode and after no time at all jumped in front of a cab and the safe passage home felt like heaven. We thanked the taxi driver over and over again and quickly settled ourselves down in Perry’s tent for cards in our blissful states. I’d do anything to spend the night under canvass and I was truly in heaven. Then the WB, wifelet and their friend came back and order was temporarily postponed as he joined the game and made telephone calls while the wifelet grew bored. She doesn’t play and their friend had fallen asleep upright in their car and could not be budged. She went out to find lives but returned dismayed at no sign of any, apart from some people sat in a car. Seeing her dismay I sent her out again with a glow stick insisting that this would draw people out. I was right and soon a party started next to our tent that the WB soon joined. Perry and I carried on playing cards until eventually I suggested joining them out of idle curiosity. Perry enjoyed this a lot more than me as he can gab to anyone and he soon got into conversation with a TH local that screamed like a banshee and talked at a very high pitched100mph. It was my time to be dismayed and I floated off to bed for a glorious sleep without killing anyone.
The WB woke us the next morning with a gentle “get off my land”. Country jokes are the best and it was “don’t stray from the path” land, near Bodmin and other moors. Several pubs were full of Nuevo witch fake memorabilia. They were off to the beach and dropped Perry and I off at a shop to get some food, as we wanted to spend the day lazing around. We stocked up and went to a pub to wait for our taxi. We made a lovely BBQ’d late lunch and settled into resting in the grass, protected from the wind by our inventive windbreakers. We basked in the sun occasionally, watched swifts in constant flight and played cards and Frisbee until it became locked in the jaws of a very stubborn dog. It wasn’t funny really and we soon got bored of the stupid game of trying to prise it out of his jaws and begging him to drop it. I advised that we ignore the dog and eventually he dropped it and walked off. Pah, it had teeth marks all over it.
The crowd arrived back around 8pm and we went off to the pub to meet a colleague without the wifelet. The pub was run by 3 women, who pounced on the WB and his male friend and they were really lucky to get out untouched as these women were gagging for it, I mean gagging for it. Perry and I resumed our card playing on our return, heard some owls and fell asleep until we were again woken by the familiar “get off my land” wake up call. This time we went to the seaside too and were delighted to spend the day on a beautiful sandy beach with blue skies and blazing sun. We even paddled and caught a bit of colour. After a beautiful fish and chip supper the WB and the wifelet fell asleep as Perry and I again played cards. Somehow we were caught up in some sort of time warp as the next thing it was 5.30am, some 9 hours later and we went to sleep for a few hours before having to pack up and go home. Once again I was a real misery guts all the way home as it was not until getting home at 7pm that I was able to eat any food that gave me energy. I need my food. Luckily we found some seats this time so I snoozed for 4 hours straight.
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