rip jeans

Laydees, thank goodness that I actually did slim into my new jeans. It was simple in the end, I just gave up milk and pounds that I never ever thought that I would shift again just literally fell off. Being a creature of habit did I mention that my new ones are almost identical to my old ones? Even though my 1980s roadie look, spray painted drain pipes, has recently been adopted by Kate Moss, Sienna Miller and various bo-ho chicks, after wearing them nearly every day for 4 years, I couldn’t bear to change the style. A few weeks ago though I had to face up to the truth that they were falling apart and I even had to darn the arse. But today they died. A small split appeared on both cheeks and they got quickly got bigger each time I sat down. Despite Booby offering me 50p for a quick look, and because it is quite nippy and I did not want to get arrested I turned to my trustee mate gaffer tape. The last time I had to gaffer my trousers was when my pants split during a Meltdown Festival. Luckily it happened back stage where gaffer was in ready supply. I soon forgot it was there until I walked past Harry Dean Stanton. Oh those were the days. “Hey” he said “you’ve got gaffer tape on your ass.” While this may have embarrassed some people I walked away and punched the air thinking HDS just looked at my arse!!!!