day 3

Tracy asked Michael if he is related to the US Barrymores. As far as I’m aware this is not his real name. He chose it in an Educating Rita fashion and thus like Rita, it’s the height of pretension and he’s perhaps destined to a certain fate too. He’s not alwight.

Pete told Preston that he reminds him of a young Morrissey. Preston didn’t know if this is a good or a bad thing until Pete said “but you’re much better looking”. Preston is trying to be a voice of reason in a brewing war between Pete and Jodie. Pete has said nothing that unreasonable but Jodie’s bird reactions are making him feel heartless. I hope he don’t go changing. There’s a rumour that his coat is made of gorilla fur. He has cats, so I hope that his back catalogue is as healthy as he says it is.

There’s a competition going on to see if anyone can stare Pete out. Barrymore’s giving it a good shot. I’m not sure if this is a good thing to prove that he can do in front of the British public, this being a trial for him and all.

Looks like some of you don’t know who Goldie Looking Chain are, so here’s a gem. They’re famous for dedicating a performance of “Your Missus is a Nutter” to David Beckham. They have another well know-ish song called “Guns Don’t Kill People Rappers Do”.

Pretty damn dull tonight. I am enjoying the live coverage more.

There was a quiz yesterday. This was one of the questions.
Who is reported to have said that Jodie Marsh’s tits are like saggy spaniels ears? Michael, the quizmaster, cruelly repeated it.

Jodie’s done herself up like a kipper. Michael has admitted to being in rehab 8 times but he gets no sympathy from her, as she believes that people who are in rehab have apparently done it to themselves. She wants to change her life by being on Big Brother. She’s sick of people calling her a stupid slag when they pass her on the street. Oh dear, how much sympathy can she expect with an attitude like that? Yet she does expect sympathy and has been in tears with Dennis the predator too. He told her straight “you can’t keeping breaking down anytime anyone says something nasty about you”. “I’m not breaking down” she said wiping tears from her eyes. I feel that she could have chosen a confidant more wisely. Dennis thinks that all the housemates need therapy and can only remember 2 names Traci and Maggot.

They’ve all been pretty up front with their agendas, apart from Pete and Michael has not kept us in suspense. He has told the nation that he’s not guilty of anything other than stupidity, ie leaving the scene of the crime. Do we believe a man who fooled his wife every day for 18 (I think) years of marriage?

Faria wants to change her life too. Big Brother is her chance to show the public what she’s really like. In her defence she has slagged off “the English” who can “f**k off” if they believe what was in the News of the World. So now we know the real her and not just what we read in the paper. Case closed, she can be evicted now right?

Preston has smelt a rat. He doubts that Chantelle is a struggling musician. Being an up-front guy he confessed to her. She has managed to temporarily persuade him that it’s all true and she has sworn on her mother’s life that she is in a girl band. I bet she won’t be happy with that. Let’s she what happens tomorrow when the Housemates have to show each other why they're famous. Dennis will have to spin a ball and dunk a few baskets; Preston, Maggot and Pete get to sing some songs; Rula's going to do a bit of acting, and Michael has to do a funny turn. Traci, meanwhile, has to brave the crazy English snow to do some slow-mo running in a bikini. Faria, George, and Jodie have to give 90-second speeches explaining why they're famous. Chantelle will be treating us to the international debut of "I Want It Right Now".

Poor Chantelle has to remember a whole song, 3 song titles, 4 other band members, an old band name and the name of a Japanese shampoo company that used their song. She ain’t ‘appy.