Whoooah. Calm down codenamed. I’ve had a delayed, well normally timed I suppose, reaction. I got it! Closure, I mean. It came a couple of days later. Hurrah. I just looked at it all in a different way and got a totally different picture. It might have all been a coincidence but who cares if it was or not. Like me HWCBN is in the process of moving after 10 years in his home. He’s packed up and moved into a small bed-sit type affair, while I’m packing my home to go into storage, while looking for a palace with a nice garden. I still have not found anywhere to live so my brave bro Dom has volunteered to house me for the foreseeable future. HWCBN paid £56K in rent over those 10 years, while I’ll netted close to £170K in profit. I ain’t so silly. It’s time I learnt that. The ‘coincidence’ simply reinforces the differences in the way we want to live our lives. DONE. CLOSED. MOVED ON. Good luck to him. I’ve chosen life!!!!!! I thank you for your patience.
The light’s on boys! Come get me…………
x
Friday, September 22, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
knackered
It’s been a crazy old couple of weeks. The month began with a weekend with the Vixen. Due to exhaustion, 2 weeks worth of washing up and having no clean clothes to wear I nearly cancelled the whole visit but I’m glad that I didn’t as we spent a lovely Saturday taking turns to cook 2 meals with Daddy’s fresh produce, playing cards in front of a coal fire and in the evening ended up in the park dancing like Wicker Man loons with 2 cotton sheets in high winds. Bizarrely, but as promised by the Government earlier this year, the long awaited Indian Summer appeared the very next day and we spent a lovely Sunday strolling around the park taking in the view of London, the ‘secret’ garden and the allotments where we were surprised to see award winning sized squashes growing. We scarpered on discovering the bees housed under only a flimsy piece of wood. We had long talked about doing Thai Chi in the park but we only managed a little light stretching this time. I had to stop her from dangling over backwards in her bright red trousers while sitting on a bench watching a gentle game of bowling. She didn’t realise how distracting that she was being until I gently pointed it out. I took her to a more suitable spot and what I see as her spiritual home within the park, the tree circle and we lazed and stretched in the blazing sun while being assaulted by high wind swept leafs and plastic carrier bags. I can’t believe that it’s taken me 8 months to check out the alternative housing there but I was disappointed to find out that it was just a concrete bunker spray painted pink. ☹
The rest of the madness is work related so I will only skim through with minimum detail but one of the highlights was my being lucky enough to attend the NMP at the beginning of the month. I didn’t really know what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised to not only see Thom Yorke and many of the other short-listed artists perform but also to see that he is very good looking and actually slightly built. Shocker. Our fella didn’t win but got the plug of his life, courtesy of his friends the winners. Call 999.
My pet project at work descended into the country very late on Wednesday night, 21 of em and after 6 weeks of planning and being at my desk until all hours at night I’m proud to say that after a live radio session, 2 sold out gigs and a fully attended record shop in store that ended up on the streets of Covent Garden, it can be deemed a success. All I need now is for people to go out and buy the album. Gig 1 was in Hoxton, an area that I generally avoid at all cost. I used to go to warehouse parties there 20 years ago and it’s changed since I frequented dark, boarded up, piss smelling parties to a neon blazed area packed with shops, bars, restaurants and unbearably trendy people. I definitely preferred it before. Gig 2 was in Brixton, oh so close to home and the evening ended with Perry and I listening to me DJ-ing with dance remixes and me giving him a plotted history of our year apart via my blog. Gosh there was so much to tell but I went straight to NYE as it summarized 2005 in one entry. The evening had to end when it all went wrong while I tried to explain my past Jodie Marsh obsession. To disprove his persistent claims that she can’t be all that bad, I showed him the madness contained in her official blog. But he insisted that it was fake and written by random JM haters. No matter how many times I explained that it was her almost daily personal entries he continued to insist that it wasn’t real, my cue to leave. Well that plus an early start and my impending visitor……
Although I am not in often at the moment (soon to change) I have been remembering to keep my Feng Shui light burning brightly, for, as it signifies, I am ready for a man in my life. I wonder if there is anyone out there can explain what happened next and if it is a direct result of the persistent red glow. On Thursday I received a text from He Who Cannot Be Named. Two Christmases ago he bought me a How to Play Bass manual and I put some practice in before we broke up. He’s now moving into a smaller flat and wanted to come around in a cab to give me a bass guitar with stand and an amp. Of course I immediately accepted his kind offer and he came around bearing the gifts yesterday. Luckily there was a 2-day gap in between the initial text and the visit as I spent 2 nights marrying us off and us living happily ever after in my head. By the time Saturday came, yet again I was exhausted after 2 gig nights in a row, the early start and the drunken vodka fuelled session with Perry and subsequently calmer and more realistic. While waiting for HWCBN to arrive I even got out my compass to check that my light was burning in the correct corner of the room, the SW. It was, hmmmm. We had a fairly sedate hour in the pub and then he was gone out of my life again. If I was hoping for some sort of closure I didn’t get it. I still feel that our lives would be better if we spent them together and now I have to figure out if the whole thing was coincidence or if he is still tuned into me spiritually. I suppose time will tell and once again I have to be patient or somehow learn to drop it. The light has been on all day today, just in case, as it’s either him or a new man that will resolve the situation. He asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend and I told him straight that haven’t fancied anyone since we broke up. He grinned and nodded as the same has happened to him. A tear pricked my eye but did not fall and the evening ended shortly after.
The rest of the madness is work related so I will only skim through with minimum detail but one of the highlights was my being lucky enough to attend the NMP at the beginning of the month. I didn’t really know what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised to not only see Thom Yorke and many of the other short-listed artists perform but also to see that he is very good looking and actually slightly built. Shocker. Our fella didn’t win but got the plug of his life, courtesy of his friends the winners. Call 999.
My pet project at work descended into the country very late on Wednesday night, 21 of em and after 6 weeks of planning and being at my desk until all hours at night I’m proud to say that after a live radio session, 2 sold out gigs and a fully attended record shop in store that ended up on the streets of Covent Garden, it can be deemed a success. All I need now is for people to go out and buy the album. Gig 1 was in Hoxton, an area that I generally avoid at all cost. I used to go to warehouse parties there 20 years ago and it’s changed since I frequented dark, boarded up, piss smelling parties to a neon blazed area packed with shops, bars, restaurants and unbearably trendy people. I definitely preferred it before. Gig 2 was in Brixton, oh so close to home and the evening ended with Perry and I listening to me DJ-ing with dance remixes and me giving him a plotted history of our year apart via my blog. Gosh there was so much to tell but I went straight to NYE as it summarized 2005 in one entry. The evening had to end when it all went wrong while I tried to explain my past Jodie Marsh obsession. To disprove his persistent claims that she can’t be all that bad, I showed him the madness contained in her official blog. But he insisted that it was fake and written by random JM haters. No matter how many times I explained that it was her almost daily personal entries he continued to insist that it wasn’t real, my cue to leave. Well that plus an early start and my impending visitor……
Although I am not in often at the moment (soon to change) I have been remembering to keep my Feng Shui light burning brightly, for, as it signifies, I am ready for a man in my life. I wonder if there is anyone out there can explain what happened next and if it is a direct result of the persistent red glow. On Thursday I received a text from He Who Cannot Be Named. Two Christmases ago he bought me a How to Play Bass manual and I put some practice in before we broke up. He’s now moving into a smaller flat and wanted to come around in a cab to give me a bass guitar with stand and an amp. Of course I immediately accepted his kind offer and he came around bearing the gifts yesterday. Luckily there was a 2-day gap in between the initial text and the visit as I spent 2 nights marrying us off and us living happily ever after in my head. By the time Saturday came, yet again I was exhausted after 2 gig nights in a row, the early start and the drunken vodka fuelled session with Perry and subsequently calmer and more realistic. While waiting for HWCBN to arrive I even got out my compass to check that my light was burning in the correct corner of the room, the SW. It was, hmmmm. We had a fairly sedate hour in the pub and then he was gone out of my life again. If I was hoping for some sort of closure I didn’t get it. I still feel that our lives would be better if we spent them together and now I have to figure out if the whole thing was coincidence or if he is still tuned into me spiritually. I suppose time will tell and once again I have to be patient or somehow learn to drop it. The light has been on all day today, just in case, as it’s either him or a new man that will resolve the situation. He asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend and I told him straight that haven’t fancied anyone since we broke up. He grinned and nodded as the same has happened to him. A tear pricked my eye but did not fall and the evening ended shortly after.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
found it (eventually)
We set off for Eden packed with backpacks, tents and winter woollies (well I had mine). The train was packed, absolutely packed. At £70 a ticket we were determined to get seats so I marched us into first class where we enquired about upgrades. Luckily, the train manager didn’t come back to us again, although he said he would and he did move others on. We sat in luxury for the whole 4-hour journey while whole families sat on the floor in the train vestibules. For those of you not in the know, this is the bit in between carriages, where the smelly toilets and extremely loud announcements are. The train company couldn’t understand why the train was so packed and mentioned the Bank Holiday with no knowledge that a 5000 capacity festival was happening in Cornwall every night over the weekend. Still, we were happy with our First Class carriage and complimentary drinks. I did confess to the catering man that we had not yet upgraded due to a faulty ticket machine and I was thanked for my honesty while Perry glared at me. I just can’t lie but luckily the rossers didn’t come to fetch us. I’d like to think that it was our charm that got us away with it, but in reality it was just the overwhelming number of passengers without seats.
I was inundated with text messages from the competition winners for the entire day and night. They had been asked to dress up as animals and the winners were to meet their heroes that very day, so I humoured their high jinx in good spirit. Well, you can’t ruin their fun, and I loved it anyway. Inevitably there was a light drizzle when the WB picked us up at the station, which quickly developed into full on rain as we pulled into the campsite. The site was basic and really high up and the visibility was low. I marvelled at there being a hill by the site, until the WB pointed out that it was a quarry, and we were surrounded by them. The top of our quarry was cloaked in mist and we out our tents up in a light drizzle. Joy, but in truth Perry and I really didn’t care. We put our tents up super quick and the taxi arrived to take us to the venue before I was ready but we rushed off remembering to stop for vodka and mixers on the way. Thank goodness we did or we would have been stuck without provisions. However it did mean that I had the lug 5 litres of liquid with me at all times.
The competition ran late but was a lot of fun and everyone had a great time. I was off duty by 5.30pm and Perry and I started having fun immediately. We visited the pods, not stopping long in the tropical one as we couldn’t breath, got some food and drink and got ourselves a good position for the gig. It was amazing and the pods provided a brilliant lighting effect and surrounding. I’d never seen GF in festival condition and Perry had never seen them live and it was one of those days where I just love my work. At the end of the night we climbed to the top of the hill with lots of other stragglers and faced hell itself getting a cab home. It was anarchy with every man out for himself. I assumed battle mode and after no time at all jumped in front of a cab and the safe passage home felt like heaven. We thanked the taxi driver over and over again and quickly settled ourselves down in Perry’s tent for cards in our blissful states. I’d do anything to spend the night under canvass and I was truly in heaven. Then the WB, wifelet and their friend came back and order was temporarily postponed as he joined the game and made telephone calls while the wifelet grew bored. She doesn’t play and their friend had fallen asleep upright in their car and could not be budged. She went out to find lives but returned dismayed at no sign of any, apart from some people sat in a car. Seeing her dismay I sent her out again with a glow stick insisting that this would draw people out. I was right and soon a party started next to our tent that the WB soon joined. Perry and I carried on playing cards until eventually I suggested joining them out of idle curiosity. Perry enjoyed this a lot more than me as he can gab to anyone and he soon got into conversation with a TH local that screamed like a banshee and talked at a very high pitched100mph. It was my time to be dismayed and I floated off to bed for a glorious sleep without killing anyone.
The WB woke us the next morning with a gentle “get off my land”. Country jokes are the best and it was “don’t stray from the path” land, near Bodmin and other moors. Several pubs were full of Nuevo witch fake memorabilia. They were off to the beach and dropped Perry and I off at a shop to get some food, as we wanted to spend the day lazing around. We stocked up and went to a pub to wait for our taxi. We made a lovely BBQ’d late lunch and settled into resting in the grass, protected from the wind by our inventive windbreakers. We basked in the sun occasionally, watched swifts in constant flight and played cards and Frisbee until it became locked in the jaws of a very stubborn dog. It wasn’t funny really and we soon got bored of the stupid game of trying to prise it out of his jaws and begging him to drop it. I advised that we ignore the dog and eventually he dropped it and walked off. Pah, it had teeth marks all over it.
The crowd arrived back around 8pm and we went off to the pub to meet a colleague without the wifelet. The pub was run by 3 women, who pounced on the WB and his male friend and they were really lucky to get out untouched as these women were gagging for it, I mean gagging for it. Perry and I resumed our card playing on our return, heard some owls and fell asleep until we were again woken by the familiar “get off my land” wake up call. This time we went to the seaside too and were delighted to spend the day on a beautiful sandy beach with blue skies and blazing sun. We even paddled and caught a bit of colour. After a beautiful fish and chip supper the WB and the wifelet fell asleep as Perry and I again played cards. Somehow we were caught up in some sort of time warp as the next thing it was 5.30am, some 9 hours later and we went to sleep for a few hours before having to pack up and go home. Once again I was a real misery guts all the way home as it was not until getting home at 7pm that I was able to eat any food that gave me energy. I need my food. Luckily we found some seats this time so I snoozed for 4 hours straight.
I was inundated with text messages from the competition winners for the entire day and night. They had been asked to dress up as animals and the winners were to meet their heroes that very day, so I humoured their high jinx in good spirit. Well, you can’t ruin their fun, and I loved it anyway. Inevitably there was a light drizzle when the WB picked us up at the station, which quickly developed into full on rain as we pulled into the campsite. The site was basic and really high up and the visibility was low. I marvelled at there being a hill by the site, until the WB pointed out that it was a quarry, and we were surrounded by them. The top of our quarry was cloaked in mist and we out our tents up in a light drizzle. Joy, but in truth Perry and I really didn’t care. We put our tents up super quick and the taxi arrived to take us to the venue before I was ready but we rushed off remembering to stop for vodka and mixers on the way. Thank goodness we did or we would have been stuck without provisions. However it did mean that I had the lug 5 litres of liquid with me at all times.
The competition ran late but was a lot of fun and everyone had a great time. I was off duty by 5.30pm and Perry and I started having fun immediately. We visited the pods, not stopping long in the tropical one as we couldn’t breath, got some food and drink and got ourselves a good position for the gig. It was amazing and the pods provided a brilliant lighting effect and surrounding. I’d never seen GF in festival condition and Perry had never seen them live and it was one of those days where I just love my work. At the end of the night we climbed to the top of the hill with lots of other stragglers and faced hell itself getting a cab home. It was anarchy with every man out for himself. I assumed battle mode and after no time at all jumped in front of a cab and the safe passage home felt like heaven. We thanked the taxi driver over and over again and quickly settled ourselves down in Perry’s tent for cards in our blissful states. I’d do anything to spend the night under canvass and I was truly in heaven. Then the WB, wifelet and their friend came back and order was temporarily postponed as he joined the game and made telephone calls while the wifelet grew bored. She doesn’t play and their friend had fallen asleep upright in their car and could not be budged. She went out to find lives but returned dismayed at no sign of any, apart from some people sat in a car. Seeing her dismay I sent her out again with a glow stick insisting that this would draw people out. I was right and soon a party started next to our tent that the WB soon joined. Perry and I carried on playing cards until eventually I suggested joining them out of idle curiosity. Perry enjoyed this a lot more than me as he can gab to anyone and he soon got into conversation with a TH local that screamed like a banshee and talked at a very high pitched100mph. It was my time to be dismayed and I floated off to bed for a glorious sleep without killing anyone.
The WB woke us the next morning with a gentle “get off my land”. Country jokes are the best and it was “don’t stray from the path” land, near Bodmin and other moors. Several pubs were full of Nuevo witch fake memorabilia. They were off to the beach and dropped Perry and I off at a shop to get some food, as we wanted to spend the day lazing around. We stocked up and went to a pub to wait for our taxi. We made a lovely BBQ’d late lunch and settled into resting in the grass, protected from the wind by our inventive windbreakers. We basked in the sun occasionally, watched swifts in constant flight and played cards and Frisbee until it became locked in the jaws of a very stubborn dog. It wasn’t funny really and we soon got bored of the stupid game of trying to prise it out of his jaws and begging him to drop it. I advised that we ignore the dog and eventually he dropped it and walked off. Pah, it had teeth marks all over it.
The crowd arrived back around 8pm and we went off to the pub to meet a colleague without the wifelet. The pub was run by 3 women, who pounced on the WB and his male friend and they were really lucky to get out untouched as these women were gagging for it, I mean gagging for it. Perry and I resumed our card playing on our return, heard some owls and fell asleep until we were again woken by the familiar “get off my land” wake up call. This time we went to the seaside too and were delighted to spend the day on a beautiful sandy beach with blue skies and blazing sun. We even paddled and caught a bit of colour. After a beautiful fish and chip supper the WB and the wifelet fell asleep as Perry and I again played cards. Somehow we were caught up in some sort of time warp as the next thing it was 5.30am, some 9 hours later and we went to sleep for a few hours before having to pack up and go home. Once again I was a real misery guts all the way home as it was not until getting home at 7pm that I was able to eat any food that gave me energy. I need my food. Luckily we found some seats this time so I snoozed for 4 hours straight.
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