knackered

It’s been a crazy old couple of weeks. The month began with a weekend with the Vixen. Due to exhaustion, 2 weeks worth of washing up and having no clean clothes to wear I nearly cancelled the whole visit but I’m glad that I didn’t as we spent a lovely Saturday taking turns to cook 2 meals with Daddy’s fresh produce, playing cards in front of a coal fire and in the evening ended up in the park dancing like Wicker Man loons with 2 cotton sheets in high winds. Bizarrely, but as promised by the Government earlier this year, the long awaited Indian Summer appeared the very next day and we spent a lovely Sunday strolling around the park taking in the view of London, the ‘secret’ garden and the allotments where we were surprised to see award winning sized squashes growing. We scarpered on discovering the bees housed under only a flimsy piece of wood. We had long talked about doing Thai Chi in the park but we only managed a little light stretching this time. I had to stop her from dangling over backwards in her bright red trousers while sitting on a bench watching a gentle game of bowling. She didn’t realise how distracting that she was being until I gently pointed it out. I took her to a more suitable spot and what I see as her spiritual home within the park, the tree circle and we lazed and stretched in the blazing sun while being assaulted by high wind swept leafs and plastic carrier bags. I can’t believe that it’s taken me 8 months to check out the alternative housing there but I was disappointed to find out that it was just a concrete bunker spray painted pink. ☹

The rest of the madness is work related so I will only skim through with minimum detail but one of the highlights was my being lucky enough to attend the NMP at the beginning of the month. I didn’t really know what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised to not only see Thom Yorke and many of the other short-listed artists perform but also to see that he is very good looking and actually slightly built. Shocker. Our fella didn’t win but got the plug of his life, courtesy of his friends the winners. Call 999.

My pet project at work descended into the country very late on Wednesday night, 21 of em and after 6 weeks of planning and being at my desk until all hours at night I’m proud to say that after a live radio session, 2 sold out gigs and a fully attended record shop in store that ended up on the streets of Covent Garden, it can be deemed a success. All I need now is for people to go out and buy the album. Gig 1 was in Hoxton, an area that I generally avoid at all cost. I used to go to warehouse parties there 20 years ago and it’s changed since I frequented dark, boarded up, piss smelling parties to a neon blazed area packed with shops, bars, restaurants and unbearably trendy people. I definitely preferred it before. Gig 2 was in Brixton, oh so close to home and the evening ended with Perry and I listening to me DJ-ing with dance remixes and me giving him a plotted history of our year apart via my blog. Gosh there was so much to tell but I went straight to NYE as it summarized 2005 in one entry. The evening had to end when it all went wrong while I tried to explain my past Jodie Marsh obsession. To disprove his persistent claims that she can’t be all that bad, I showed him the madness contained in her official blog. But he insisted that it was fake and written by random JM haters. No matter how many times I explained that it was her almost daily personal entries he continued to insist that it wasn’t real, my cue to leave. Well that plus an early start and my impending visitor……

Although I am not in often at the moment (soon to change) I have been remembering to keep my Feng Shui light burning brightly, for, as it signifies, I am ready for a man in my life. I wonder if there is anyone out there can explain what happened next and if it is a direct result of the persistent red glow. On Thursday I received a text from He Who Cannot Be Named. Two Christmases ago he bought me a How to Play Bass manual and I put some practice in before we broke up. He’s now moving into a smaller flat and wanted to come around in a cab to give me a bass guitar with stand and an amp. Of course I immediately accepted his kind offer and he came around bearing the gifts yesterday. Luckily there was a 2-day gap in between the initial text and the visit as I spent 2 nights marrying us off and us living happily ever after in my head. By the time Saturday came, yet again I was exhausted after 2 gig nights in a row, the early start and the drunken vodka fuelled session with Perry and subsequently calmer and more realistic. While waiting for HWCBN to arrive I even got out my compass to check that my light was burning in the correct corner of the room, the SW. It was, hmmmm. We had a fairly sedate hour in the pub and then he was gone out of my life again. If I was hoping for some sort of closure I didn’t get it. I still feel that our lives would be better if we spent them together and now I have to figure out if the whole thing was coincidence or if he is still tuned into me spiritually. I suppose time will tell and once again I have to be patient or somehow learn to drop it. The light has been on all day today, just in case, as it’s either him or a new man that will resolve the situation. He asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend and I told him straight that haven’t fancied anyone since we broke up. He grinned and nodded as the same has happened to him. A tear pricked my eye but did not fall and the evening ended shortly after.