It’s crazy mad busy for those of us on the front line at work, with no sign of letting up. The release schedule is fit to bursting and I have been given lots of new duties, plus my very own project, which is hotting up nicely. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I love it. I love learning new things and I am relishing the role but it is hard work. For the last few weeks I’ve been working late every night, getting home, eating, watching BB7 and sleeping. That’s the lot, so I’ve been determined to leave work at 6pm on Fridays and the weekend has been starting there. If there were bars on buses I would be sinking my first vodka on the bus going home. Although it would appear that summer left us the day after the Shark + TH left these shores, I steadfastly refuse to accept this. The last 2 Fridays I have headed straight to Perry’s where we have been hanging onto summer by bar-b-q ing in his garden come rain, cloud or cold. He’s getting really rather good at it and is solely responsible for my change in opinion. I’ve always called it burnt food in the past but I’m coming round to his tasty grub and the joys of communal cooking. It also fits into my cunning plan of taking it easy at the weekend.
Last Friday I stumbled home in the early hours weaving a path across the pavements and I struggled to get up early on the Saturday to get my haircut. It was long overdue and the Spanish mullet look had to go before the start of the football season. My hair was cut off in a symbolic ritual. HWCBN liked it long and I’ve been slowly chipping away at it and finally gave the go ahead to get it off. Luckily my hairdresser does not talk while cutting my hair as I was in no condition to hold a conversation. Our ruthless come hippy MD at work has told me how to get a new boyfriend. It’s time now, although I haven’t been looking, which, according to him, is the problem. He told me that I have to put signals out into the Universe. If I think that I won’t get a man, then I won’t. If I signal that I want one, then I will get one, so, boys, watch out. I’m coming to get you. I have also placed a light in the South West corner of my bedroom which I must put on as another signal. I’ve also ensured that the mirror does not reflect my bed in it. These are both Feng Shui moves, on the advice of a colleague. The light has been burning now for 5 hours so I mean business.
I had to keep my strength up as the Vixen was coming round for an arts and crafts day. She’s back and we have promised to spend quality time with each other. We spent the day painting with brushes, sponges and potatoes and some of the work is very good. I was absolutely appalled to have to put the central heating on and heavy cloud meant that a trip to the park to watch the meteor shower was out of the question. Boo! It took me 3 hours to clean up on the Sunday but I’m glad I did as the buyer for my flat made an unscheduled visit to measure up for curtains. I had more of the same last night as Perry and I somehow managed to eat at a very late 11pm and played cards until gone 3 in the morning. We’re very competitive and each one of us demanded rematches if the other won. Fate conspired against me again today as I was told to get up for 9am, after 4 hours sleep, as a surveyor was coming round. Naturally he didn’t turn up until 11am, grrrrr. I only started feeling human again around 4pm. Drinking a week’s worth of vodka in one evening does take its toll.
My own flat hunt is going very very slowly as there is nothing suitable for me on the market. I had put an offer in on a property but it was withdrawn from sale only to be put back on 2 weeks later with a new price 9K over my offer, the asking price, and 5K over my planned budget. It was a gorgeous place with big bright rooms, a lovely garden and a cellar!! I have now resigned myself to putting my stuff into storage and staying with my big bro until I find somewhere. Sounds like lots of fun.
Next weekend Perry and I continue our search for the summer with a weekend of camping in Cornwall. There are currently bad weather warnings there, so no one tell him please. We’re off to see Goldfrapp at the Eden project and then we’ll stay for the Bank Holiday weekend along with the WB and his missus. I can see very long evenings with lots of card playing ahead.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Sunday, August 06, 2006
seeing as everyone already knows
There was nothing to celebrate really. Turning 38 is pretty run of the mill (although I do prefer to be an even age as opposed to an odd age) and I was intending to keep the date under wraps. Plus I was working most of the weekend and had waving off the Shark and TH plus a evening with the family to contend with, as well as working on Sunday. However, due to the powers of myspace, everyone knew it was my birthday and quite a few had it in their diaries anyway. I must start writing these things down somewhere.
To my shock and surprise I had 3 wrapped presents waiting for me on my desk at work. One was a camping pack of Tarot cards, one was “Stardust’ by Neil Gainman (which I cannot wait to read) and the last package was a ‘birthday girl’ badge with disco lights that I immediately installed on my cleavage. So much for keeping it quiet then. I had 2 other presents delivered during the day, one-handed garden shears and a bottle of Stolly from the WB. Oh, and a beautiful and anonymous bunch of flowers, although I do have my suspicions. Wow, It’s not been like this for years, not since me old RFH days. I was quite overcome.
Friday evening’s work consisted of going to the Beeb with RH who was in town for a weekend of promo. We finished up by 8.30 and RH suggested that a few of us go back to his hotel for drinks as it’s ‘codenamelizzy’s birthday. Although he doesn’t really need an excuse I was really happy to be invited and indeed the cause for a celebration. RH’s my favourite artist at work and a beautiful man whether he’s talking or singing. The bar that served Guinness had a pianist and my flashing cleavage (yes I still had it on!) led to a special rendition of happy birthday and an opportunity to request a song. During the day a colleague offered to play any music that I wanted and I chose the Bees Gees. Perfect for a Friday in the office. During ‘How Deep is Your Love’ He Who Cannot Be Named texted me a beautiful birthday message which led to tear filled eyes and then actually to tears. So I requested that. I’m soft as a bag of tits. That’s how RH described how soft he is to a cinema full of people earlier, so I’m stealing it. As well as brilliant company, not having to pay for a thing, RH also gave me another present. He gave me a CD that he had been looking for for years and had only just found, as that’s all he had with him and he wanted me to have it. How nice is that? Due to a hefty schedule and a packed weekend I booked a cab for 12.30. Not because I wanted to go but because I really should. I was leaving only very reluctantly so it was a real wrench to go when HW grabbed my arms, looked into my eyes and sang with a voice like velvet “don’t go sweet codenamelizzy don’t go”. There were more words but I was in such a daze I can’t remember them. Somehow I stuck to my resolve and got in the cab, which I was no less escorted to and sent off with a kiss of the cheek. I elegantly got in my cab and told him “I’m gonna have to blog this”.
To my shock and surprise I had 3 wrapped presents waiting for me on my desk at work. One was a camping pack of Tarot cards, one was “Stardust’ by Neil Gainman (which I cannot wait to read) and the last package was a ‘birthday girl’ badge with disco lights that I immediately installed on my cleavage. So much for keeping it quiet then. I had 2 other presents delivered during the day, one-handed garden shears and a bottle of Stolly from the WB. Oh, and a beautiful and anonymous bunch of flowers, although I do have my suspicions. Wow, It’s not been like this for years, not since me old RFH days. I was quite overcome.
Friday evening’s work consisted of going to the Beeb with RH who was in town for a weekend of promo. We finished up by 8.30 and RH suggested that a few of us go back to his hotel for drinks as it’s ‘codenamelizzy’s birthday. Although he doesn’t really need an excuse I was really happy to be invited and indeed the cause for a celebration. RH’s my favourite artist at work and a beautiful man whether he’s talking or singing. The bar that served Guinness had a pianist and my flashing cleavage (yes I still had it on!) led to a special rendition of happy birthday and an opportunity to request a song. During the day a colleague offered to play any music that I wanted and I chose the Bees Gees. Perfect for a Friday in the office. During ‘How Deep is Your Love’ He Who Cannot Be Named texted me a beautiful birthday message which led to tear filled eyes and then actually to tears. So I requested that. I’m soft as a bag of tits. That’s how RH described how soft he is to a cinema full of people earlier, so I’m stealing it. As well as brilliant company, not having to pay for a thing, RH also gave me another present. He gave me a CD that he had been looking for for years and had only just found, as that’s all he had with him and he wanted me to have it. How nice is that? Due to a hefty schedule and a packed weekend I booked a cab for 12.30. Not because I wanted to go but because I really should. I was leaving only very reluctantly so it was a real wrench to go when HW grabbed my arms, looked into my eyes and sang with a voice like velvet “don’t go sweet codenamelizzy don’t go”. There were more words but I was in such a daze I can’t remember them. Somehow I stuck to my resolve and got in the cab, which I was no less escorted to and sent off with a kiss of the cheek. I elegantly got in my cab and told him “I’m gonna have to blog this”.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
carry on camping
I’m back after 4 nights of camping in Pevensey Bay with Perry.
The morning of our departure could easily have turned into a disaster when Perry announced that he hadn’t booked us in as agreed, asserting that it would be fine as it was only a field. I gently explained that all campsites are only fields and that the UK is in the middle of a heat wave so we had better ring to check availability. I’ve been going camping since I was a toddler and the first thing that my mammy would say when dad would suggest camping was “I’m not going anywhere unless it’s booked” and the words rang in my ears as I once again accepted that we all turn into our mothers eventually.
On ringing the site we discovered that it was full. There was only a minute wobble on hearing this and we both tried hard to stay calm and immediately got to work by getting on-line and ringing around sites in the area. We were thrilled when the first site that we got through to could fit us in. Success and so with only a 20 minute delay and a slight change in destination we set off in the blazing sun for Eastbourne saddled with heavy back packs and tents that catered for just about everything. The site was great and our pitch was huge. It was further away from the castle, pubs and shops but with a campsite shop and the beach only 50 metres away there’s really no reason to complain about anything and we settled in easily. We agreed that we would save evening pub visits for times when it might rain and a routine of waking, walking to the pub for lunch and coming back with food and lager was ideal for relaxing in the sunshine.
On the first evening we got some sausages and a miniature bar-b-que and raided a skip near the tent for inventions that would stop us scorching the grass, an unforgivable camping sin that all too many people ignore. We settled on a bit of wood with a drinks crate underneath and thought that we were really very clever. All was going to plan until the direction of the wind changed and was pretty quickly blowing with some force. A storm was definitely on the way. We had steeled ourselves for the possibility of rain and laughed it off as an excuse for an early visit to the pub. However we soon turned glum when the fast wind cremated the sausages and set fire to the wood and ultimately to the plastic crate underneath it. I quickly moved the wood and bar-b-que with my Leatherman and Perry threw a bottle of water onto the crate and extinguished the flames. After all the precautions we had taken in order to be good campers it was a horrible feeling staring at the burnt grass. Luckily the burnt bits were easily scraped away with my tool and after a couple of days of watering the patch it was better than new. Phew.
Somehow we went on to eat the charcoal sausages and determined to forget the days 2 calamities as everything was now peachy. The incoming thunder and lightning were nothing compared to the excitement of the whole day and we wondered off to stare at the sea in the rain and returned to camp just in time to see an amazing sunset before walking to the harbour so Perry could have a cold beer. We had hoped to go to The Star but luckily bumped into the site lady on the way who informed us that it was miles away. We became used to hearing that response when enquiring about directions during our stay. Sometimes it was true and sometimes it wasn’t. It’s always like that in the country.
The walk to the harbour was fun but arduous in it’s own way as we got unlucky with crossing the water in the same way that people get caught in traffic lights. On seeing a neon Harvester sign we ran to it and revelled in cold drinks, seats and a bingo machine. We ignored the carpet and the fact that we were in a Harvester and had a lot of fun before returning to camp to get our things to sit on the beach and watch the spectacle of far away thunder and lightning for what seemed like hours. Somehow I managed to convince Perry that to take away the slight chill in our bodies what we needed was a lovely hot shower. It felt very refreshing and we settled down to lantern lit cards before stumbling into bed very late.
The first thing that I realised on waking was that we had managed to drink a litre bottle of vodka, plus 4 cans of lager and drinks in the pub. We were on holiday after all. It was a couple of hours before I felt human and we ambled off to the Crown Inn for a hearty pub lunch and a calamity free day of cards in camp. I made a very unadventurous soup and bread for tea but I gained points by improvising Perry’s stand up parasol umbrella from home into a very effective wind shelter. We were truly set up by then and had a cool bag / rented ice block system that ensured Perry had ice-cold beers throughout the day. We played cards for hours simply adapting from lantern light to candle light when we got through the batteries in 2 lamps. We gazed again at the sunset and as the sun went down we glimpsed a section of a halo on the cirrostratus cloud. It was magical. As the clouds cleared we were able to see the mighty Milky Way. I was truly happy.
The next day began majestically and we hit the beach straight away and were refreshed by our early dip. After basking in the breaking waves we made plans for the day. We decided to get rid of our tee-shirt tans with a nice walk to Pevensey Castle and a pub lunch in the Smugglers Inn. I had been cashless for the whole day and feeling fairly impotent we were walking to Pevensey Bay for an ATM when yet another calamity hit us. It seemed that whoever had booked us in had been a complete idiot as the site had been completely full every weekend from Easter until the end of the summer season. By this time we knew the area quite well and knew of another site very near us but we were still hoping to get the booking checked and some sort of customer care to resolve the situation as we marched back to site in silence staring at the ground. It soon became very clear that we had to move and the gentle but persistent pleas of “check our booking” and “this will ruin our holiday” met with a repeated “we all fully booked. There is nothing we can do’. Seeing there was no way out of the situation I retorted “yes, well maybe you will have some vacancies when people realise that they are next to a building site”. For we had been as the area is going through huge development. We hadn’t really minded and only noticed a stone grinder every now and just then it felt good to chuck that in her snooty face. It was a small comfort when to add insult to injury we discovered that someone had nicked Perry’s brolly.
We quietly packed up and walked to the new site and erected our tents again. I tried to see the good in the situation and determined to put my tent up in showroom condition. You have to find fun where you can. The new site was quieter and a bit more open and we were fine apart from food and lager less. There was no camp shop as it had been forced to close by the local Asda and we ran off there for supplies before stopping at the very hard to find in the daylight Harvester for a cold beer. This time, relatively sober, it was an ordeal with Asda being no more fun so when we found out the food we had bought was useless as there was no disposable bar-b-ques Perry showed no hesitation in spending a tenner on a cheap one. We got a cab back to site and chilled and dined on a hearty feast. Perry cooked. I could barely move after a day walking in the sun plus I hate bar-b-qued food. Luckily Perry knows this and didn’t burn anything. Yummy ribs and salad under the Milky Way. The night was cooler and a layer of dew gave Perry ice-cold beers. I found a big cardboard box and invented a table/stroke windbreaker. I was very happy: well fed, well vodkaed and my tea shirt tan area was covered by a layer of pink colour. But after a long day of not letting things get to us and walking in the hot sun, sometimes with our gear, I was knocked out. The first game of cards seemed to last at least an hour and I crumbled and topped up with water and turned into my lovely cosy sleeping bag at Midnight for a staggering 10 ½ hour sleep.
Saturday was another scorcher and we sat in the sun an hour before I realised that my back had gone red and I was dangerously close to burning. I did a quick scan of the area and found 2 spare poles and manufactured them in a canopy and basked under it in a steady breeze until hunger called us. Saturday was the day that Friday should have been as we walked to the pub for lunch and chilled on the beach until we remembered that we were leaving that day and had to pack. The last day of a holiday is always a bit weird as one struggles with wanting to stay, begin to mentally prepare for work and have to pack and get on the train. I was fairly quiet as we travelled home back who can blame me? I had a lovely time and my berry coloured skin is tanning fast.
The morning of our departure could easily have turned into a disaster when Perry announced that he hadn’t booked us in as agreed, asserting that it would be fine as it was only a field. I gently explained that all campsites are only fields and that the UK is in the middle of a heat wave so we had better ring to check availability. I’ve been going camping since I was a toddler and the first thing that my mammy would say when dad would suggest camping was “I’m not going anywhere unless it’s booked” and the words rang in my ears as I once again accepted that we all turn into our mothers eventually.
On ringing the site we discovered that it was full. There was only a minute wobble on hearing this and we both tried hard to stay calm and immediately got to work by getting on-line and ringing around sites in the area. We were thrilled when the first site that we got through to could fit us in. Success and so with only a 20 minute delay and a slight change in destination we set off in the blazing sun for Eastbourne saddled with heavy back packs and tents that catered for just about everything. The site was great and our pitch was huge. It was further away from the castle, pubs and shops but with a campsite shop and the beach only 50 metres away there’s really no reason to complain about anything and we settled in easily. We agreed that we would save evening pub visits for times when it might rain and a routine of waking, walking to the pub for lunch and coming back with food and lager was ideal for relaxing in the sunshine.
On the first evening we got some sausages and a miniature bar-b-que and raided a skip near the tent for inventions that would stop us scorching the grass, an unforgivable camping sin that all too many people ignore. We settled on a bit of wood with a drinks crate underneath and thought that we were really very clever. All was going to plan until the direction of the wind changed and was pretty quickly blowing with some force. A storm was definitely on the way. We had steeled ourselves for the possibility of rain and laughed it off as an excuse for an early visit to the pub. However we soon turned glum when the fast wind cremated the sausages and set fire to the wood and ultimately to the plastic crate underneath it. I quickly moved the wood and bar-b-que with my Leatherman and Perry threw a bottle of water onto the crate and extinguished the flames. After all the precautions we had taken in order to be good campers it was a horrible feeling staring at the burnt grass. Luckily the burnt bits were easily scraped away with my tool and after a couple of days of watering the patch it was better than new. Phew.
Somehow we went on to eat the charcoal sausages and determined to forget the days 2 calamities as everything was now peachy. The incoming thunder and lightning were nothing compared to the excitement of the whole day and we wondered off to stare at the sea in the rain and returned to camp just in time to see an amazing sunset before walking to the harbour so Perry could have a cold beer. We had hoped to go to The Star but luckily bumped into the site lady on the way who informed us that it was miles away. We became used to hearing that response when enquiring about directions during our stay. Sometimes it was true and sometimes it wasn’t. It’s always like that in the country.
The walk to the harbour was fun but arduous in it’s own way as we got unlucky with crossing the water in the same way that people get caught in traffic lights. On seeing a neon Harvester sign we ran to it and revelled in cold drinks, seats and a bingo machine. We ignored the carpet and the fact that we were in a Harvester and had a lot of fun before returning to camp to get our things to sit on the beach and watch the spectacle of far away thunder and lightning for what seemed like hours. Somehow I managed to convince Perry that to take away the slight chill in our bodies what we needed was a lovely hot shower. It felt very refreshing and we settled down to lantern lit cards before stumbling into bed very late.
The first thing that I realised on waking was that we had managed to drink a litre bottle of vodka, plus 4 cans of lager and drinks in the pub. We were on holiday after all. It was a couple of hours before I felt human and we ambled off to the Crown Inn for a hearty pub lunch and a calamity free day of cards in camp. I made a very unadventurous soup and bread for tea but I gained points by improvising Perry’s stand up parasol umbrella from home into a very effective wind shelter. We were truly set up by then and had a cool bag / rented ice block system that ensured Perry had ice-cold beers throughout the day. We played cards for hours simply adapting from lantern light to candle light when we got through the batteries in 2 lamps. We gazed again at the sunset and as the sun went down we glimpsed a section of a halo on the cirrostratus cloud. It was magical. As the clouds cleared we were able to see the mighty Milky Way. I was truly happy.
The next day began majestically and we hit the beach straight away and were refreshed by our early dip. After basking in the breaking waves we made plans for the day. We decided to get rid of our tee-shirt tans with a nice walk to Pevensey Castle and a pub lunch in the Smugglers Inn. I had been cashless for the whole day and feeling fairly impotent we were walking to Pevensey Bay for an ATM when yet another calamity hit us. It seemed that whoever had booked us in had been a complete idiot as the site had been completely full every weekend from Easter until the end of the summer season. By this time we knew the area quite well and knew of another site very near us but we were still hoping to get the booking checked and some sort of customer care to resolve the situation as we marched back to site in silence staring at the ground. It soon became very clear that we had to move and the gentle but persistent pleas of “check our booking” and “this will ruin our holiday” met with a repeated “we all fully booked. There is nothing we can do’. Seeing there was no way out of the situation I retorted “yes, well maybe you will have some vacancies when people realise that they are next to a building site”. For we had been as the area is going through huge development. We hadn’t really minded and only noticed a stone grinder every now and just then it felt good to chuck that in her snooty face. It was a small comfort when to add insult to injury we discovered that someone had nicked Perry’s brolly.
We quietly packed up and walked to the new site and erected our tents again. I tried to see the good in the situation and determined to put my tent up in showroom condition. You have to find fun where you can. The new site was quieter and a bit more open and we were fine apart from food and lager less. There was no camp shop as it had been forced to close by the local Asda and we ran off there for supplies before stopping at the very hard to find in the daylight Harvester for a cold beer. This time, relatively sober, it was an ordeal with Asda being no more fun so when we found out the food we had bought was useless as there was no disposable bar-b-ques Perry showed no hesitation in spending a tenner on a cheap one. We got a cab back to site and chilled and dined on a hearty feast. Perry cooked. I could barely move after a day walking in the sun plus I hate bar-b-qued food. Luckily Perry knows this and didn’t burn anything. Yummy ribs and salad under the Milky Way. The night was cooler and a layer of dew gave Perry ice-cold beers. I found a big cardboard box and invented a table/stroke windbreaker. I was very happy: well fed, well vodkaed and my tea shirt tan area was covered by a layer of pink colour. But after a long day of not letting things get to us and walking in the hot sun, sometimes with our gear, I was knocked out. The first game of cards seemed to last at least an hour and I crumbled and topped up with water and turned into my lovely cosy sleeping bag at Midnight for a staggering 10 ½ hour sleep.
Saturday was another scorcher and we sat in the sun an hour before I realised that my back had gone red and I was dangerously close to burning. I did a quick scan of the area and found 2 spare poles and manufactured them in a canopy and basked under it in a steady breeze until hunger called us. Saturday was the day that Friday should have been as we walked to the pub for lunch and chilled on the beach until we remembered that we were leaving that day and had to pack. The last day of a holiday is always a bit weird as one struggles with wanting to stay, begin to mentally prepare for work and have to pack and get on the train. I was fairly quiet as we travelled home back who can blame me? I had a lovely time and my berry coloured skin is tanning fast.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
i've got my life back
Ssssssh, just showed Ray my blog. I’ve just agreed on a codename for him, it’s Perry. As in "Mr Patterson, Mrs Patterson.
Perry has done himself proud and bought himself a lovely 2-bedroomed place in TH where he can rejoice in leaving the bog seat up. He has a garden where he allows me to practice gardening. Real get down dirty gardening, digging up weeds and stuff. As I type it’s the things that dreams are made of (for me), the gentle blowing of leaves in huge trees. Patio doors 1-foot from the couch. Somehow earlier I managed to reclaim 1 foot of HIS garden from the neighbours too. I noticed that the garden ends before his flat and he checked the Land Registry records on line (he’s a bit of a boffin like TH) and what would you know he can reclaim land. I practiced the phrase “get off my land” and I’m sure that he will join in soon.
Perry has done himself proud and bought himself a lovely 2-bedroomed place in TH where he can rejoice in leaving the bog seat up. He has a garden where he allows me to practice gardening. Real get down dirty gardening, digging up weeds and stuff. As I type it’s the things that dreams are made of (for me), the gentle blowing of leaves in huge trees. Patio doors 1-foot from the couch. Somehow earlier I managed to reclaim 1 foot of HIS garden from the neighbours too. I noticed that the garden ends before his flat and he checked the Land Registry records on line (he’s a bit of a boffin like TH) and what would you know he can reclaim land. I practiced the phrase “get off my land” and I’m sure that he will join in soon.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
i can’t wait to have a garden #717
Apart from my daily watch for Jupiter and Mars and my physical need to see the moon in the sky whenever possible (lovely low slung big bright full moon due tonight), I’ve been neglecting the sky of late. June and July are not good months for amateur astrologers as the sky is so bright, even at night. We have to wait until September for spectacular sunsets. And until lately the sky has been inundated with grey clouds leaving everyone, apart from the Shark, cursing them out of the sky. But it ends here. Thanks to The Cloudspotter’s Guide I am looking skywards during the day again. In the evening sky tonight we have ‘Altostratus’, known as the boring cloud, until pierced with sun or moonlight.
Monday, July 10, 2006
i can’t wait to have a garden #716
Last weekend, Marj, a famous-ish actress and the mother of the man who owns downstairs, but lives in Brooklyn (the HH to NY pilgrimage is surely now the traditional Herne Hillian rite of passage) rang to make sure that I am using the garden ‘darling”. So I’ve shaken off feeling like a burglar and I have enjoyed the pleasures of owning a garden, although I refuse to use the house for anything other than peeing.
On Friday night Dr P from work came round. Against my better judgement and against all my firm held beliefs that Bar-B-qd food is merely burnt food, we had burned sausages and salad. It was a lovely night with red clouds and clear skies and as the huge glowing moon came from behind the big red clouds I felt like I was looking at a view from space. After eating we settled onto the rug in the garden and to my absolute delight a baby bat circled the garden for absolutely ages. I shall have to look out for it again.
However I soon discovered that having a garden is not all fun. Catster and Perry came around on Saturday for some garden squatting and I immediately smelt do do. No, not them. It took a while to locate the pong but hundreds of flies eventually alerted me to the area where an animal had been growing a collection of long thin turds. I suspect a fox or cat. I threw some compost on it but found a lot of that sprayed all over the lawn on Sunday morning. What a responsibility. Cat became initiated in a CNL day as we spent hour after hour lounging in the sun drinking Pimms and vodka, playing cards and building wind shelters. Jimbob she’s a quick learner and really very good, so be warned.
On Sunday I went to see the folks and visited Daddy’s allotment. I’m due to dig the spuds again on Sunday. His tomatoes have gone mental whereas mine only have a couple of flowers. I’m not growing them indoors again, it doesn’t work. Everything has grown according to plan, this includes, among other things, a new found style of round courgette, red and white onions, potatoes, carrots, cabbages, beetroot and his Swedes are HUGE! Wow, I cannot wait to have a garden.
Naturally I watched the World Cup final. They showed it at the venue before Nitzer Ebb came on stage. I wanted France to win because of Henry and because once again I fell in love with Zidane. He is my perfect model of a man and I feel that he head butted the chest of another to dispel the love of all French men. He’s a man not a myth. And I love him.
Please don’t mention Celebrity Love Island. Even in jest.
On Friday night Dr P from work came round. Against my better judgement and against all my firm held beliefs that Bar-B-qd food is merely burnt food, we had burned sausages and salad. It was a lovely night with red clouds and clear skies and as the huge glowing moon came from behind the big red clouds I felt like I was looking at a view from space. After eating we settled onto the rug in the garden and to my absolute delight a baby bat circled the garden for absolutely ages. I shall have to look out for it again.
However I soon discovered that having a garden is not all fun. Catster and Perry came around on Saturday for some garden squatting and I immediately smelt do do. No, not them. It took a while to locate the pong but hundreds of flies eventually alerted me to the area where an animal had been growing a collection of long thin turds. I suspect a fox or cat. I threw some compost on it but found a lot of that sprayed all over the lawn on Sunday morning. What a responsibility. Cat became initiated in a CNL day as we spent hour after hour lounging in the sun drinking Pimms and vodka, playing cards and building wind shelters. Jimbob she’s a quick learner and really very good, so be warned.
On Sunday I went to see the folks and visited Daddy’s allotment. I’m due to dig the spuds again on Sunday. His tomatoes have gone mental whereas mine only have a couple of flowers. I’m not growing them indoors again, it doesn’t work. Everything has grown according to plan, this includes, among other things, a new found style of round courgette, red and white onions, potatoes, carrots, cabbages, beetroot and his Swedes are HUGE! Wow, I cannot wait to have a garden.
Naturally I watched the World Cup final. They showed it at the venue before Nitzer Ebb came on stage. I wanted France to win because of Henry and because once again I fell in love with Zidane. He is my perfect model of a man and I feel that he head butted the chest of another to dispel the love of all French men. He’s a man not a myth. And I love him.
Please don’t mention Celebrity Love Island. Even in jest.
Friday, July 07, 2006
big brother : day 34
Dull, depressing, demanding, dreary Deirdre, sorry Dolly is out. But the vote was close. Her interview was as dull as her.
Jayne next please.
Jayne next please.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
day 49 : big brother
Jayne, Jennie and Michael were already in the other house so A-Lo was left with her 2 favourite boys. A-Lo pondered on Nicki’s reaction if she re-enters the house. Jayne did not like her but Michael saw the good in her. She thinks that BB always knew that they would clash.
Jayne stayed up talking to Glyn until nearly 6am and disturbed the other HMs. She sounds like Kathy Burke and won’t last. She’s too loud and too annoying, a new Kinga. Glyn offered to share his bed with her. She told him he’s not a lifeguard in the house. Michael had been close to her in the other house but has competition now. He thinks that Dolly is a loud crass bitch. He likes posh Susie. He thinks Dicky is fine and fun and thinks that they are quite similar but that they won’t get jiggy. He thinks it’s 50/50 that they’ll get on at all but hopes that they will.
Dicky thought that he saw a secret room and they all suspect that there is a secret room / house next door to them. Well, they had heard loads of building work last week. Jayne managed to keep her mouth shut while they all discussed it.
Glyn still fancies Dolly and cannot see why Mikey doesn’t. Mikey certainly doesn’t fancy Jayne but Glyn admires her boobs. Jayne could ‘do’ Mikey or Glyn. Oh dear. She called Glyn macho the night before but Dicky said it would be like making love to Forest Gump. Dolly and Dicky filled Jayne in on Dim and Mikey’s new found closeness. Nicky doesn’t think that Jennie likes her although she likes Jennie. Jennie thinks that they are all crazy. She likes Glyn the ‘sweetheart’. She finds it hard to talk to Nicki but didn’t diss her.
BB gathered the HMs together in both houses. A-Lo was called to the DR. She was immediately scared. Jonathan guessed what was going to happen next but I think that he thought he would stay. The TV screens went on in both houses. They screamed I the real house when they found out she had not been evicted. Nicki immediately thought she was going to be evicted by A-Lo. BB confessed what had been going on and A-Lo found out that she had to evict someone for real. During this Jayne told a shocked Dolly and Nicki that she HATES A-Lo’s guts and laughed in glee when she realised it was her that A-Lo wanted out for real. “Idiot, get on with it. She was quick enough to evict me,” she shouted to the room. Bitch, I do not like her. Get her out next week. A-Lo found it very difficult to chose and begged not to have to do it. No one was listening to Jayne; they only wanted to know who was fittest, Spiral or Jonathan. A-Lo evicted Jonathan and was truly sorry. He fell silent. The other HMs booed her for getting rid of the fit bloke. A-Lo and Jonathan hugged and Jayne had to finally stop the abuse, as it was a scene that had everyone but her virtually in tears.
Davina’s voice cut in. Jonathan was evicted and did not have an eviction night. Jennie’s swinging brick (her heart) was broken. A-Lo’s tears continued and she entered the real house with Spiral sobbing. They all followed her to the bog and Michael gave her a hug. Dolly, Pete, Spiral and Jennie followed too but she only wanted Spiral and they hugged. They had been through it together. Ah. Jayne piped up with “I’m still gonna enjoy myself” but got NO response. Good. Out out out. She then started backtracking and started saying she didn’t have a chance to get to know A-Lo with only 24 hours in her company. Despite everyone telling her not to Jayne burst into the bog to go for a pee, so she said. All she actually did was stand staring at A-Lo with her hands on her hips. On exiting the bog she started again saying A-Lo was bringing the HMs down and that it was ‘pathetic’. A-Lo wanted to sit in the DR as it was Spiral’s night and she didn’t want to ruin it. She stayed in there for nearly 2 hours. BB eventually calmed her down and made her laugh. Spiral was fine in the house talking, just as she knew he would be.
Pete and Dicky suspect it will kick off between A-Lo and Nicki and wondered if the other HMs had been watching them on TV. Dim is happy that A-Lo is back and told Jayne and Nicki when they tried to turn her against A-Lo. I don’t think Dim likes Jayne. When she came out Pete, Glyn, Mikey and Dim gave her a warm welcome, while Susie and Jayne comforted a scared Nicki. . Pete comforted Nicki too as he wants a happy house. A-Lo apparently blanked Dolly
At bedtime Spiral touched Dolly’s boobs and then Glyn did too. Yuck. But then ahhhhhhh, altogether now, ahhhhhh. A-Lo went to hug Nicki at bedtime and called her a silly sausage.
Jayne stayed up talking to Glyn until nearly 6am and disturbed the other HMs. She sounds like Kathy Burke and won’t last. She’s too loud and too annoying, a new Kinga. Glyn offered to share his bed with her. She told him he’s not a lifeguard in the house. Michael had been close to her in the other house but has competition now. He thinks that Dolly is a loud crass bitch. He likes posh Susie. He thinks Dicky is fine and fun and thinks that they are quite similar but that they won’t get jiggy. He thinks it’s 50/50 that they’ll get on at all but hopes that they will.
Dicky thought that he saw a secret room and they all suspect that there is a secret room / house next door to them. Well, they had heard loads of building work last week. Jayne managed to keep her mouth shut while they all discussed it.
Glyn still fancies Dolly and cannot see why Mikey doesn’t. Mikey certainly doesn’t fancy Jayne but Glyn admires her boobs. Jayne could ‘do’ Mikey or Glyn. Oh dear. She called Glyn macho the night before but Dicky said it would be like making love to Forest Gump. Dolly and Dicky filled Jayne in on Dim and Mikey’s new found closeness. Nicky doesn’t think that Jennie likes her although she likes Jennie. Jennie thinks that they are all crazy. She likes Glyn the ‘sweetheart’. She finds it hard to talk to Nicki but didn’t diss her.
BB gathered the HMs together in both houses. A-Lo was called to the DR. She was immediately scared. Jonathan guessed what was going to happen next but I think that he thought he would stay. The TV screens went on in both houses. They screamed I the real house when they found out she had not been evicted. Nicki immediately thought she was going to be evicted by A-Lo. BB confessed what had been going on and A-Lo found out that she had to evict someone for real. During this Jayne told a shocked Dolly and Nicki that she HATES A-Lo’s guts and laughed in glee when she realised it was her that A-Lo wanted out for real. “Idiot, get on with it. She was quick enough to evict me,” she shouted to the room. Bitch, I do not like her. Get her out next week. A-Lo found it very difficult to chose and begged not to have to do it. No one was listening to Jayne; they only wanted to know who was fittest, Spiral or Jonathan. A-Lo evicted Jonathan and was truly sorry. He fell silent. The other HMs booed her for getting rid of the fit bloke. A-Lo and Jonathan hugged and Jayne had to finally stop the abuse, as it was a scene that had everyone but her virtually in tears.
Davina’s voice cut in. Jonathan was evicted and did not have an eviction night. Jennie’s swinging brick (her heart) was broken. A-Lo’s tears continued and she entered the real house with Spiral sobbing. They all followed her to the bog and Michael gave her a hug. Dolly, Pete, Spiral and Jennie followed too but she only wanted Spiral and they hugged. They had been through it together. Ah. Jayne piped up with “I’m still gonna enjoy myself” but got NO response. Good. Out out out. She then started backtracking and started saying she didn’t have a chance to get to know A-Lo with only 24 hours in her company. Despite everyone telling her not to Jayne burst into the bog to go for a pee, so she said. All she actually did was stand staring at A-Lo with her hands on her hips. On exiting the bog she started again saying A-Lo was bringing the HMs down and that it was ‘pathetic’. A-Lo wanted to sit in the DR as it was Spiral’s night and she didn’t want to ruin it. She stayed in there for nearly 2 hours. BB eventually calmed her down and made her laugh. Spiral was fine in the house talking, just as she knew he would be.
Pete and Dicky suspect it will kick off between A-Lo and Nicki and wondered if the other HMs had been watching them on TV. Dim is happy that A-Lo is back and told Jayne and Nicki when they tried to turn her against A-Lo. I don’t think Dim likes Jayne. When she came out Pete, Glyn, Mikey and Dim gave her a warm welcome, while Susie and Jayne comforted a scared Nicki. . Pete comforted Nicki too as he wants a happy house. A-Lo apparently blanked Dolly
At bedtime Spiral touched Dolly’s boobs and then Glyn did too. Yuck. But then ahhhhhhh, altogether now, ahhhhhh. A-Lo went to hug Nicki at bedtime and called her a silly sausage.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
big brother : live show tonight
OH OH.
She wasn’t expecting that the poor love and has kept her favourite 2 in last in a strategy that has failed. I think she’ll keep Spiral in, who is a favourite to win with Paddy Power. What do they know though? They’ve no idea how irritating a young Orish man can be. I say that in the safety of my Irish descent.
I am out tonight and someone please deputise as Cat is away.
She wasn’t expecting that the poor love and has kept her favourite 2 in last in a strategy that has failed. I think she’ll keep Spiral in, who is a favourite to win with Paddy Power. What do they know though? They’ve no idea how irritating a young Orish man can be. I say that in the safety of my Irish descent.
I am out tonight and someone please deputise as Cat is away.
day 46 : big brother
A-Lo has bonded with Spiral over dire hip-hop, plus she is Irish descent. He fancies her and it may be reciprocated. She knows that he is going into the real BB house and has sent him there to keep Pete company. She really wants to send the scouse lass and would have nominated her next if she thought that there were really off. She’s worried that BB will only show her nominating and that we don’t realise that she knows what’s going on. I think she’s think too much. Dim tried to bond with her ‘old pal’ Pete again. And it was painful. Mikey said that nothing would ever happen between him and Dim. Nicki taught Dim her old ear against the door trick so they both heard Mikey’s boy talk with Glyn. Here’s another snippet : Glyn got a semi when’s Nicki’s arm touched his. The gals did confess but they are going to pretend that they know nothing as the boys were cross.
Nominations
Glyn :
Pete got his first nomination ever cos Glyn thinks he’s boring and miserable. Well with only twats like Glyn for company who came blame him. Oh, and he’s still smelling.
At least he had the brains to apologise for this later when Pete explained some of the symptoms of his condition, ie sleeping. The only person ever to nominate Pete – what a tit.
Dolly oh dear, I feel an A-Lo influence her. She had a pop at Dolly saying one minute you don’t want to be near Glyn cos he says he fancies you and the next you have his head in your bosom. Fair game. He apologised for this too but I don’t care about her.
Dim :
Dicky + Dolly dull and predictable Dim. Fair enough for Dolly as all she talks about is Pete but didn’t she vote like this last week? Zzzzzs.
Dolly (by all accounts really 35!!! Heat found her birth certificate):
Susie : as she gives her disapproving looks all the time when she is crude – she’s lucky cos I’d just throw up on her. She said first Nicky and changed it to Dicky as he called her fat and said she’s putting weight on
Mikey
Dicky : cos he stares and his campness levels vary. And??
Nicky : no need to explain, moaning, always cold, spoilt etc
Nicky :
Well, she was moaning and sulking and had a coat on as she said Dicky
Dolly : she pretended it was hard. She doesn’t trust her
Pete : was banned from nominating as he confessed to A-Lo that he had nominated her – he was pleased though so it backfired a little
Dicky :
Dim : like a genital wart, won’t go away
Glyn : too much Wales talk. Glyn and Dim have put him off ever going there. I hope the Welsh don’t hate him like they did Anne Robinson but he still loves Shirley Bassey, Charlotte Church and her boyfriend – we cannot let him leave!!!!
Susie :
Dolly : for being overdramatic
Glyn : as he farts too much and never owns up to it. Jayne will be at it next.
Dolly & Dicky are up - GET DOLLY OUT
Nominations
Glyn :
Pete got his first nomination ever cos Glyn thinks he’s boring and miserable. Well with only twats like Glyn for company who came blame him. Oh, and he’s still smelling.
At least he had the brains to apologise for this later when Pete explained some of the symptoms of his condition, ie sleeping. The only person ever to nominate Pete – what a tit.
Dolly oh dear, I feel an A-Lo influence her. She had a pop at Dolly saying one minute you don’t want to be near Glyn cos he says he fancies you and the next you have his head in your bosom. Fair game. He apologised for this too but I don’t care about her.
Dim :
Dicky + Dolly dull and predictable Dim. Fair enough for Dolly as all she talks about is Pete but didn’t she vote like this last week? Zzzzzs.
Dolly (by all accounts really 35!!! Heat found her birth certificate):
Susie : as she gives her disapproving looks all the time when she is crude – she’s lucky cos I’d just throw up on her. She said first Nicky and changed it to Dicky as he called her fat and said she’s putting weight on
Mikey
Dicky : cos he stares and his campness levels vary. And??
Nicky : no need to explain, moaning, always cold, spoilt etc
Nicky :
Well, she was moaning and sulking and had a coat on as she said Dicky
Dolly : she pretended it was hard. She doesn’t trust her
Pete : was banned from nominating as he confessed to A-Lo that he had nominated her – he was pleased though so it backfired a little
Dicky :
Dim : like a genital wart, won’t go away
Glyn : too much Wales talk. Glyn and Dim have put him off ever going there. I hope the Welsh don’t hate him like they did Anne Robinson but he still loves Shirley Bassey, Charlotte Church and her boyfriend – we cannot let him leave!!!!
Susie :
Dolly : for being overdramatic
Glyn : as he farts too much and never owns up to it. Jayne will be at it next.
Dolly & Dicky are up - GET DOLLY OUT
Monday, July 03, 2006
day 45 : big brother
Jayne had proved to be a little too noisy and active for A-Lo. She also upset the Orish fellow as she had a pop at him for playing football with a melon. I suppose she hates to see food wasted and that’s why she eats it all. She wants to lose weight and has adopted Michael (phorrr but gay) as her personal trainer.
Dolly thinks that Pete has come out of his shell more now that A-Lo has gone. Her and Nicki had a bitch about her. Nicki really dislikes her and is glad that she has gone. Nicki and Dim then had a bitch about Dolly. They do not want each other to leave, as they would be stuck with her and Susie. And us, the viewer too. Dim lamented on days gone when she was close to Pete. I don’t remember them but I suppose it could have happened. Dolly reckons that Our Kid used to grab Pete if he tried to run away from her. Oh ho ho, she is soo delusional. Nicki is a bit too. She’s denying that she tried to snog Petey and reckons that they just hugged and slept in the same bed.
BB asked A-Lo to gather the new HMs and then announced a dirty trick. She had to evict a HM in front of them all. She got very upset about it cried, as she generally hates nominating anyway. She picked Jayne as she had kept her awake the night before. Course that’s why. Jayne knew that she was going out anyway and had to leave immediately. They suspected she was going into the other house but didn’t know for sure. She went to the DR and slagged A-Lo off before finding out that she was in fact going next door.
Naturally Nicki screamed and asked “are you real?” Nicki really likes Jayne, as she appears to be normal. I give it 3 days before she is sick of her. They all felt sorry for her, as they thought that she had to wear cut off jeans and a red England vest top. Susie said that they had made her wear some repulsive clothes too and went on until Jayne exclaimed “but they’re my clothes”. Jayne asked the HMs who was pleased A-Lo had been evicted. Naughty, she knows what they do not, that she is coming back and encouraging them to bitch about her is sly. Jayne repulsed Susie by belching loudly but endeared Dolly by talking dirty and swearing. Jonathan didn’t like her burping either. And I don’t. It’s not funny at all. Jayne and Glyn bonded a little over farting and burping. It didn’t take Dolly long to feel paranoid about Jayne having watched the show.
A-Lo is worried that people will think that she’s a bitch as she had rowed last week in the other house and now she has to evict people from her new yard. This is despite the new HMs knowing that Jayne went next door as they could hear Nicki screaming and Michael heard her from the DR. A-Lo is worried about people feeling rejected when she nominates them but figured out that they are nor really being evicted as only the viewers have the power to evict. Bright gal eh.
Michael misses Jayne and likes her. He hates hip-hop music and the attitude that goes with it and feels that this bonds the rest of the other secret HMs. He really doesn’t have anything in common with them, even A-Lo. It looked at first that they would get on but now he feels that A-Lo has a negative energy and can be stroppy.
GET DOLLY OUT!!!!
Dolly thinks that Pete has come out of his shell more now that A-Lo has gone. Her and Nicki had a bitch about her. Nicki really dislikes her and is glad that she has gone. Nicki and Dim then had a bitch about Dolly. They do not want each other to leave, as they would be stuck with her and Susie. And us, the viewer too. Dim lamented on days gone when she was close to Pete. I don’t remember them but I suppose it could have happened. Dolly reckons that Our Kid used to grab Pete if he tried to run away from her. Oh ho ho, she is soo delusional. Nicki is a bit too. She’s denying that she tried to snog Petey and reckons that they just hugged and slept in the same bed.
BB asked A-Lo to gather the new HMs and then announced a dirty trick. She had to evict a HM in front of them all. She got very upset about it cried, as she generally hates nominating anyway. She picked Jayne as she had kept her awake the night before. Course that’s why. Jayne knew that she was going out anyway and had to leave immediately. They suspected she was going into the other house but didn’t know for sure. She went to the DR and slagged A-Lo off before finding out that she was in fact going next door.
Naturally Nicki screamed and asked “are you real?” Nicki really likes Jayne, as she appears to be normal. I give it 3 days before she is sick of her. They all felt sorry for her, as they thought that she had to wear cut off jeans and a red England vest top. Susie said that they had made her wear some repulsive clothes too and went on until Jayne exclaimed “but they’re my clothes”. Jayne asked the HMs who was pleased A-Lo had been evicted. Naughty, she knows what they do not, that she is coming back and encouraging them to bitch about her is sly. Jayne repulsed Susie by belching loudly but endeared Dolly by talking dirty and swearing. Jonathan didn’t like her burping either. And I don’t. It’s not funny at all. Jayne and Glyn bonded a little over farting and burping. It didn’t take Dolly long to feel paranoid about Jayne having watched the show.
A-Lo is worried that people will think that she’s a bitch as she had rowed last week in the other house and now she has to evict people from her new yard. This is despite the new HMs knowing that Jayne went next door as they could hear Nicki screaming and Michael heard her from the DR. A-Lo is worried about people feeling rejected when she nominates them but figured out that they are nor really being evicted as only the viewers have the power to evict. Bright gal eh.
Michael misses Jayne and likes her. He hates hip-hop music and the attitude that goes with it and feels that this bonds the rest of the other secret HMs. He really doesn’t have anything in common with them, even A-Lo. It looked at first that they would get on but now he feels that A-Lo has a negative energy and can be stroppy.
GET DOLLY OUT!!!!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
day 43 : big brother
A-Lo’s yard. No natural light and they can only go into the garden when the other HMs are locked into their house.
BB woke them to an alarm sound of sawing. How clever. Pete and Nicki slept in Pete’s bed. Remember she tried to kiss him the night before. She woke up in her clothes and looking rough, saying it was the biggest piss up that they’d had.
Dolly went to get the low down from Pete straight away and had already glared at Nicki and shook her head when she saw her in Pete’s bed. Seems Nicki told Pete how she felt, about wanting to kiss him like it was in her dreams and that she likes him. Dolly told him that he gets himself in some pickles but this is her doing, she’s been leading Nicki on to keep Pete away from A-Lo. Dolly wants Pete to put Nicki straight and then filled in A-Lo, friends again it seems. They feel she has made a tit of herself and has no shame. Desperate etc. Dolly is such a hypocrite, she says that she’d have to leave if she’d done it. After weeks of trying to pull him herself. Get her out and boo her!!!!
Nicki and Dim had their own little chat. Nicki remembered the basics of the night before but not what she said to him. They think Dolly still fancies Pete. Nicki thinks that Pete understands her like no other man before. She’s drawn to him. In a bitch fest she revealed that Dolly told her that she is 43. I wonder if that’s true.
Susie is so dull that no one thinks her Golden ticket was a fix anymore. On Davina calling her name A-Lo cried, sobbed in fact and wanted her Dad. No one was surprised. They know nothing in there. We love A-Lo. Pete and Dolly both nominated her but took the time to comfort her. Pete confessed to nominating her and said sorry. She had already guessed. Pete said that he had not been able to think up any reasons and didn’t think she’d be up. BB pulled him up about it later. Pete didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, little knowing that she has not gone. He said he had to do it to keep his head straight. Dim was a comfort to her as they had got quite close.
Boss big bird Jayne, who ill-advisedly wore a bikini today, talked Michael and A-Lo into sharing a bed. They are one short you see. Big bird broke her bed by jumping up and down on it and then crash landing on it from a great height. The Orish idiot annoyed Michael by quizzing him about being gay. He has no gay friends. He won’t be popular.
Pete and Susie revealed that they both like to wear PVC/rubber and go to rubber parties, although Susie doesn’t pick anyone up at them. While discussing this poor Pete fell into the pool fully clothed and with his microphone on. He went to have a shower followed by a very drunk Nicki who pawed him and tried to apologise for the night before. She could barely speak. She didn’t want HIM to be delusional about it all and was nervous that Dolly had blown it all out of proportion. No!!! He carefully dodged any comment at all but grassed her up to Dicky and Dolly. Dicky tried to calm the situation down saying that Nicki was fine, just paranoid, while Dolly went on and on as usual.
BB woke them to an alarm sound of sawing. How clever. Pete and Nicki slept in Pete’s bed. Remember she tried to kiss him the night before. She woke up in her clothes and looking rough, saying it was the biggest piss up that they’d had.
Dolly went to get the low down from Pete straight away and had already glared at Nicki and shook her head when she saw her in Pete’s bed. Seems Nicki told Pete how she felt, about wanting to kiss him like it was in her dreams and that she likes him. Dolly told him that he gets himself in some pickles but this is her doing, she’s been leading Nicki on to keep Pete away from A-Lo. Dolly wants Pete to put Nicki straight and then filled in A-Lo, friends again it seems. They feel she has made a tit of herself and has no shame. Desperate etc. Dolly is such a hypocrite, she says that she’d have to leave if she’d done it. After weeks of trying to pull him herself. Get her out and boo her!!!!
Nicki and Dim had their own little chat. Nicki remembered the basics of the night before but not what she said to him. They think Dolly still fancies Pete. Nicki thinks that Pete understands her like no other man before. She’s drawn to him. In a bitch fest she revealed that Dolly told her that she is 43. I wonder if that’s true.
Susie is so dull that no one thinks her Golden ticket was a fix anymore. On Davina calling her name A-Lo cried, sobbed in fact and wanted her Dad. No one was surprised. They know nothing in there. We love A-Lo. Pete and Dolly both nominated her but took the time to comfort her. Pete confessed to nominating her and said sorry. She had already guessed. Pete said that he had not been able to think up any reasons and didn’t think she’d be up. BB pulled him up about it later. Pete didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, little knowing that she has not gone. He said he had to do it to keep his head straight. Dim was a comfort to her as they had got quite close.
Boss big bird Jayne, who ill-advisedly wore a bikini today, talked Michael and A-Lo into sharing a bed. They are one short you see. Big bird broke her bed by jumping up and down on it and then crash landing on it from a great height. The Orish idiot annoyed Michael by quizzing him about being gay. He has no gay friends. He won’t be popular.
Pete and Susie revealed that they both like to wear PVC/rubber and go to rubber parties, although Susie doesn’t pick anyone up at them. While discussing this poor Pete fell into the pool fully clothed and with his microphone on. He went to have a shower followed by a very drunk Nicki who pawed him and tried to apologise for the night before. She could barely speak. She didn’t want HIM to be delusional about it all and was nervous that Dolly had blown it all out of proportion. No!!! He carefully dodged any comment at all but grassed her up to Dicky and Dolly. Dicky tried to calm the situation down saying that Nicki was fine, just paranoid, while Dolly went on and on as usual.
Friday, June 30, 2006
twists x 2
A-Lo told the new HMs that her friends had voted her into the Secret House (SH), or A-Lo’s yard. The phone rang as the tanoy is too loud. It was BB for A-Lo. She had to go to the DR. BB told her she was not voted out by the public but voted in. She said thanks. She was told the SH is temporary however, she has to evict 4 of the new HMs over the next few days. Classic. She will keep the black man or the gay man. SSSShhh, it’s all secret. She called Jonathan (black man) Leroy in error. Der, looks like her friend you see.
Another twist – the 4 HMs don’t leave – they go into the real house where A-Lo will meet them again. Good job she is nice.
Another twist – the 4 HMs don’t leave – they go into the real house where A-Lo will meet them again. Good job she is nice.
new hms
A-Lo cried like a baby, called the crowd w**kers for booing her and wondered why she had ever come onto the show. Everyone comforted her, particularly Dolly. Davina actually laughed as she gave her 30 seconds to leave the house, possibly as A-Lo was crying so much at being booed. She’s pregnant (Davina) and a bag of hormones.
Then a-Lo laughed her head off when she was guided to another room by a production person and was prompted to be quiet by words on a screen. She danced around quietly in a circle and cried “no way, no way”.
The 5 new HMs have been in hiding for 9 days and think they are going into THE house, not the secret house.
#No. 1 – surprise surprise a straight black man, for A-Lo no doubt. They flirted straight away.
#No 2 – a white, overconfident Orish idiot young bloke. He got booed he’s such a tosser. He doesn’t drink booze!
A-Lo is confused after being booed and thrilled at an Orish bloke.
#No 3 – a cheeky scouse gal, sporty spice look a like. Hates girls. A mouthy gob shite. A bit like Our Kid. Has a boy friend of 3 years.
#No 4 – a young gay man, not that young. “Outrageous” by all accounts. Worked the crowd on the way in. Wow. The only one to mention that they were not in the house.
#No 5 – another gal. Tubby (very), a bit loud and bossy. Catholic. Hmm. Leather fetish. Got booed for being soooooo wacky and “sexy”.
Then a-Lo laughed her head off when she was guided to another room by a production person and was prompted to be quiet by words on a screen. She danced around quietly in a circle and cried “no way, no way”.
The 5 new HMs have been in hiding for 9 days and think they are going into THE house, not the secret house.
#No. 1 – surprise surprise a straight black man, for A-Lo no doubt. They flirted straight away.
#No 2 – a white, overconfident Orish idiot young bloke. He got booed he’s such a tosser. He doesn’t drink booze!
A-Lo is confused after being booed and thrilled at an Orish bloke.
#No 3 – a cheeky scouse gal, sporty spice look a like. Hates girls. A mouthy gob shite. A bit like Our Kid. Has a boy friend of 3 years.
#No 4 – a young gay man, not that young. “Outrageous” by all accounts. Worked the crowd on the way in. Wow. The only one to mention that they were not in the house.
#No 5 – another gal. Tubby (very), a bit loud and bossy. Catholic. Hmm. Leather fetish. Got booed for being soooooo wacky and “sexy”.
6/6….come on!!!!!!!
A-Lo got booed but they still looked surprised when she was told she would be evicted. As usual, Susie was a lady.
She cried and does not want to “shame herself” – said in a black girl’s accent.
BB has a surprise that we do not know about – something for all of them.
She cried and does not want to “shame herself” – said in a black girl’s accent.
BB has a surprise that we do not know about – something for all of them.
eviction night 6 : day 42 : big brother
Late in, missed 20 minutes due to a long story but it would appear that A-Lo and Dolly had a row yesterday and dragged in Glyn and Pete.
A-Lo knows that she is going, as Susie is the Golden Ticket girl and lovely, but she doesn’t know that she’s not leaving. I hope she does not kick off Mace style. She sees her new role as house bitch, which exactly why she cannot leave.
Nicki has tooth ache and believe me you do not want o hear her wailing. Please do not laugh at her. She said PLEASE. BB asked her where the pain is and she knelt down in front of the confessional window and showed him.
Pete has had such a hard time from the ladies that he wants to leave, not really like, but yes Dolly leave me alone type of thing.
There was a suggestion box. Pete was told anonymously that he has BO. He had a shower. This is good, he stinks and takes pride in the fact that he sometimes does not shower for days. He often leaves BO smells on the gals after hugging them. Yuck. Cos he was a bit down it got to him. Nicki was told not to moan. Dolly is no longer trying to pair Pete off with Nicki and says that she was only doing it in the first place to make Nicki feel better. Pete is no longer Dolly’s type, I suspect it’s because he doesn’t fancy her. Glyn was told not to be so Welsh.
Glyn touched himself in the shower and grassed Pete up about wazzing in there. Grass. Dicky pretended to Susie that he wazzed with her in mind. Everyone else still fancies Pete as he is “off the hook”. Nicki hugged him in bed and told him that she had had a dream that they had kissed. `She tried her hardest to get a snog under the covers and it seems that she did succeed. I have one night off!!! He didn’t seem too willing though. In his sad sorry state, plus drunk doing karaoke, he somehow agreed to Dolly waxing his navel. Despite Dicky’s warning he thought that it would not hurt.
A-Lo knows that she is going, as Susie is the Golden Ticket girl and lovely, but she doesn’t know that she’s not leaving. I hope she does not kick off Mace style. She sees her new role as house bitch, which exactly why she cannot leave.
Nicki has tooth ache and believe me you do not want o hear her wailing. Please do not laugh at her. She said PLEASE. BB asked her where the pain is and she knelt down in front of the confessional window and showed him.
Pete has had such a hard time from the ladies that he wants to leave, not really like, but yes Dolly leave me alone type of thing.
There was a suggestion box. Pete was told anonymously that he has BO. He had a shower. This is good, he stinks and takes pride in the fact that he sometimes does not shower for days. He often leaves BO smells on the gals after hugging them. Yuck. Cos he was a bit down it got to him. Nicki was told not to moan. Dolly is no longer trying to pair Pete off with Nicki and says that she was only doing it in the first place to make Nicki feel better. Pete is no longer Dolly’s type, I suspect it’s because he doesn’t fancy her. Glyn was told not to be so Welsh.
Glyn touched himself in the shower and grassed Pete up about wazzing in there. Grass. Dicky pretended to Susie that he wazzed with her in mind. Everyone else still fancies Pete as he is “off the hook”. Nicki hugged him in bed and told him that she had had a dream that they had kissed. `She tried her hardest to get a snog under the covers and it seems that she did succeed. I have one night off!!! He didn’t seem too willing though. In his sad sorry state, plus drunk doing karaoke, he somehow agreed to Dolly waxing his navel. Despite Dicky’s warning he thought that it would not hurt.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
day 41 : big brother
First off, Mace the Moose is on the front cover of Nuts with just a pair of pants on. Something that she swore she would not do. Seems she’s waiting for Mikey too. Well, at least this week.
Dreary Dolly’s been into BB in tears. Cos she doesn’t like it anymore, now that she hasn’t really got a gang (I said that). She says all they do is eat and being a former fatty this is not good. And she was still sniffle sniffle when she came out. Bring the whole house down why don’t you. Boy she looks more than her age when she cries. Nicky thinks that she’s missing Dicky now that he’s always with Susie. Bitchy A-Lo made a face and said that they had never really knocked about, which is just not true. Her bitchy side is now very apparent.
A-Lo doesn’t like nominating. Funny since she is always pointing out that it’s a game show and that they all know what they are in for before they enter the house. She often points this out to the others when poor Nicky has a rant. When the nominations were announced (remember they don’t know they won’t be leaving) A-Lo looked really pissed off and couldn’t look at her fellow HMs. She told them that she knew she would be nominated cos she ain’t stupid. Then she snapped at Dolly. Susie threatened not to cook anymore, but it was a joke. She acted like a ladydee. A-Lo walked off to another room to let off steam and called them all w**kers and Dolly a bitch and told Dim that Dolly had better stay out of her way. She thought that no one had gone to console her but really, she had a face like thunder. Who would in that case? A-Lo is shocked as she had thought that they all liked her but an awful lot of them voted for her. She thought that Dolly and Nicki would be up, and this was reflected in her voting. Susie comforted her and reminded her that there is a big cash prize and that none of them are really friends. Game show anyone???? She’s not sure why she was nominated. She told them all that she wanted to go home and flounced off looking for a hug. Things are so hard for her now that she got a hug from archenemy Mikey. I hope she doesn’t do a Mace at her fake eviction, what with not really leaving. Te he. Dolly asked A-Lo why she was being off with her and C-Lo brushed her off with non-committal babble.
The food task was to stop a tank filled with milk from emptying. Dim was given the task of acting as an undetected saboteur. She only fully understood the task once BB explained what sabotage means. Der. During the task set up Nicki and Dolly peaked through the blinds and get a rollicking from BB. I hoped that they would get severely punished but in the end they just went first with the milk plugging. Really you’d imagine that this is a task ideally suited to porno queen Dolly. Will Dim be able to keep her mouth shut? For the others can’t find out that she a saboteur or they fail. Naturally Nicki didn’t like doing it and said that she smelled like a cow’s udder. She conspired with Dolly & Dicky to give the task up as it smells and they wouldn’t get any sleep on 2-hour shifts throughout the night. But there were not enough takers. The tank emptied while Susie & Dim were on duty. It was literally gushing out of Dim’s plug. Luckily she was with Susie who rather graciously said nothing. I think that they passed.
Dreary Dolly’s been into BB in tears. Cos she doesn’t like it anymore, now that she hasn’t really got a gang (I said that). She says all they do is eat and being a former fatty this is not good. And she was still sniffle sniffle when she came out. Bring the whole house down why don’t you. Boy she looks more than her age when she cries. Nicky thinks that she’s missing Dicky now that he’s always with Susie. Bitchy A-Lo made a face and said that they had never really knocked about, which is just not true. Her bitchy side is now very apparent.
A-Lo doesn’t like nominating. Funny since she is always pointing out that it’s a game show and that they all know what they are in for before they enter the house. She often points this out to the others when poor Nicky has a rant. When the nominations were announced (remember they don’t know they won’t be leaving) A-Lo looked really pissed off and couldn’t look at her fellow HMs. She told them that she knew she would be nominated cos she ain’t stupid. Then she snapped at Dolly. Susie threatened not to cook anymore, but it was a joke. She acted like a ladydee. A-Lo walked off to another room to let off steam and called them all w**kers and Dolly a bitch and told Dim that Dolly had better stay out of her way. She thought that no one had gone to console her but really, she had a face like thunder. Who would in that case? A-Lo is shocked as she had thought that they all liked her but an awful lot of them voted for her. She thought that Dolly and Nicki would be up, and this was reflected in her voting. Susie comforted her and reminded her that there is a big cash prize and that none of them are really friends. Game show anyone???? She’s not sure why she was nominated. She told them all that she wanted to go home and flounced off looking for a hug. Things are so hard for her now that she got a hug from archenemy Mikey. I hope she doesn’t do a Mace at her fake eviction, what with not really leaving. Te he. Dolly asked A-Lo why she was being off with her and C-Lo brushed her off with non-committal babble.
The food task was to stop a tank filled with milk from emptying. Dim was given the task of acting as an undetected saboteur. She only fully understood the task once BB explained what sabotage means. Der. During the task set up Nicki and Dolly peaked through the blinds and get a rollicking from BB. I hoped that they would get severely punished but in the end they just went first with the milk plugging. Really you’d imagine that this is a task ideally suited to porno queen Dolly. Will Dim be able to keep her mouth shut? For the others can’t find out that she a saboteur or they fail. Naturally Nicki didn’t like doing it and said that she smelled like a cow’s udder. She conspired with Dolly & Dicky to give the task up as it smells and they wouldn’t get any sleep on 2-hour shifts throughout the night. But there were not enough takers. The tank emptied while Susie & Dim were on duty. It was literally gushing out of Dim’s plug. Luckily she was with Susie who rather graciously said nothing. I think that they passed.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
day 40 : big brother
Bored.
Dreary dull depressing Dolly got a spanking from Dicky and perked right up for a bit. Sex or talking about sex, or simulating sex is the only way to cheer her up. Things are now fine between her and Pete. Dolly thinks that she’s not paranoid, even though everyone is watching her. Dicky upset Nicki by smacking Dolly with a bender, her banana. She had a right go at him. Bruised fruit – a national issue. He told her to sit on it and that it might cheer her up. Must be her time of the month. Dicky has noticed Chantelle’s defection to boring bland Dimogen and has called her the new Mace.
The best bit was when they stuck a metal salad bowl on their arses and got spun around by Mikey using 2 dustbin lids as stabilisers.
At nomination time everyone, for once, got to vote. Well done DIm. No one dithered and no one pretended it was hard, apart from Pete. They are all starting to hate each other. Great!
I guess that Chantelle will go into the new house. I wanted it to be Nicki but she’ll do, although I won’t bother voting. I suppose it will be funny watching Susie when she thinks that she’s more popular than Chantelle. They all want Susie out as she’s bored and making them all behave like good school children. It won’t last though. They’ll start ganging up on her soon.
I need a volunteer for Thursday night please.
Please note that if the blog is boring it means that the show has been. Not me awight! Get Pete Burns in there.
Dreary dull depressing Dolly got a spanking from Dicky and perked right up for a bit. Sex or talking about sex, or simulating sex is the only way to cheer her up. Things are now fine between her and Pete. Dolly thinks that she’s not paranoid, even though everyone is watching her. Dicky upset Nicki by smacking Dolly with a bender, her banana. She had a right go at him. Bruised fruit – a national issue. He told her to sit on it and that it might cheer her up. Must be her time of the month. Dicky has noticed Chantelle’s defection to boring bland Dimogen and has called her the new Mace.
The best bit was when they stuck a metal salad bowl on their arses and got spun around by Mikey using 2 dustbin lids as stabilisers.
At nomination time everyone, for once, got to vote. Well done DIm. No one dithered and no one pretended it was hard, apart from Pete. They are all starting to hate each other. Great!
I guess that Chantelle will go into the new house. I wanted it to be Nicki but she’ll do, although I won’t bother voting. I suppose it will be funny watching Susie when she thinks that she’s more popular than Chantelle. They all want Susie out as she’s bored and making them all behave like good school children. It won’t last though. They’ll start ganging up on her soon.
I need a volunteer for Thursday night please.
Please note that if the blog is boring it means that the show has been. Not me awight! Get Pete Burns in there.
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