a health and safety issue

So, where was I? Oh yes, we arranged to meet up outside the venue at 7pm. When we got there it was a little chaotic as there were two entrances and hundreds of people outside. Some of the winners were already there and scared of the huge queues, but I soon established the guest list area and all the names were listed and there was no queue there at all. We were only waiting for four more to turn. One of them rang three times for our location and still couldn’t see us. In desperation, I walked towards them with one hand waving in the air and I scoured the crowd.

Then, out of nowhere, crash. My left shin hit a decorative paving stone, followed by my knee smashing against the floor…while bearing the full weight of my body. I quickly looked around to see what had happened and I saw a horse shoe pattern of decorative stones, exactly the same colour as the pavement, sticking out of the ground. I have a photo of this hideous Health & Safety breech on the way. I rolled over and cried out in pain. But on looking down at my knee and seeing no blood, I carried on with my call. In shock I suppose, I simply changed the directions to “we’re by the Ambulance”. For luckily I had fallen in front of a Red Cross ambulance. A paramedic rushed over and immediately started to massage my wound. Once I’d finished talking I looked down at my leg again and I was sickened at the sight. There was a big hole and a maggot of my fat hanging out of it.

tbc