9/4 Preston
7/2 Michael Barrymore
7/2 Chantelle
4/1 Maggot
7/1 Pete Burns
16/1 Traci Bingham
20/1 Rula Lenska
33/1 George Galloway
33/1 Dennis Rodman
66/1 Jodie Marsh
66/1 Faria Alam
Now then. Will Jim Fix It for Jodie?.
Good news / bad news.
I’ve been blown out for tonight so I will be in CBB position after all. I also have a lie-in tomorrow, so I’m going to check out some late night coverage for you all. Saturday’s forthcoming full moon has left me an emotional wreck and I just have to find out if they are all being unreasonable about Jodie or not.
Operation Deep Throat.
Today a couple of soft lads in work told me that they couldn’t see the problem with Jodie and they couldn’t understand why people were being so horrid to her. Being a reasonable woman I considered this carefully. In the end I decided that, in ‘reality’, she must be being really vile for all of them to act this way towards her on national TV. Even Maggot, who seems like a reasonable man, a solid Welsh citizen, is sick of her. I believe that his favourite book is the Bible and he regrets that Jodie was able to seduce him into a face full of her tits so easily. Solid see, on a CBB reality level-scales. However, racked with guilt, I raced home tonight to prove the soft lads right.
It went like this.
On arriving home I tuned into the live coverage 1 hour behind, so that would make it 6.15pm in CBB real-time. Chantelle and Jodie were sitting alone, bitching about the oldies. They have been accused of not showing their elders enough respect and were moaning about it. Chantelle even moaned about having to apologise to Michael for making him cry. Once again she is a hard faced heartless harridan, who would rather sit there bitching in her once in a life-time, make-me-famous break than showing us that she’s fabulous. I remember her before she was famous. She was really sweet.
They managed to make it to the table to eat their dinner with the group. Jodie maintained a stony-faced silence, grunted one-word answers if actually addressed (I think she said yes to some ice-cream, most likely containing gelatine) and just stared at the space directly in front of her. Chantelle forced a little a sparkle. Then I read this, The early bird. Within 5 minutes of waking up!!!
Maggot spent a night with Chantelle. But nuffink happened alright. They slept in a special lab room with a Japanese language tape playing in the background to see if they could learn a little while asleep. This also meant that Jodie was alone that night too, so that must have been pretty horrible for her. In the morning they went to the Diary Room, where a Japanese BB discovered that they had not picked up a word. On being told to leave the Diary Room in Japanese 3 times by BB, Maggot leaned towards the camera and loudly said “I’M SORRY. IT’S NOT WORKED, WE DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU JAPANESE BIG BROTHER”. Ha ha. Bless, Chantelle didn’t get a lot of sleep and tried to have a nap in the afternoon. When BB woke her with an alarm she cried “Don’t they know I was up all night learning German?”
Pete is getting to some of the group, in particular George, Rula and Preston. He’s not looked after his plant and not talked to it every 15 minutes as required. He eventually killed it, when he was supposed to be encouraging it to grow. It’s rankled them and eventually led to them failing the task, along with Faria not being with her spinach with her at all times. They now have to live on a small budget for the next week.
However, Faria and Rula did find a little time to admire Pete’s facial work, and said that he is mesmerising, beautiful and exquisite. Jodie said “the more I look at him the more I think he looks like the bride of Frankenstein (I think)”. Rula looked very cross but bit her tongue. This is exactly the bitching that they all hate her for. Pete’s a bitch but he’s hilarious with it. Jodie believes that Pete has a serious issue with vegetarians.
There’s still a lot of bitching about Jodie. The rows are so inevitable now that they argued over whether or not an egg is an animal. Maggot dislikes the if you’ve been to the moon, I’ve been there twice element to Jodie. Pete’s told her that she doesn’t listen. Michael and George have yelled it at her. And Rula told her in the most diplomatic way possible. She feels terrible about the situation with Jodie and together with Chantelle they encouraged Jodie to sit with the group and “move on”. Rula pointed out that Pete had been awful to her too, it’s definitely non-exclusive to Jodie. Good on her, she came out.
Just when I could see a little glimmer of hope, she went into the Diary Room and blamed Chantelle for her current situation. One of the things that the group had a pop at Jodie for was going into the Diary Room with Chantelle after a row one time. This is because it was obvious they were bitching. Jodie, in her completely own unique reality, believes that if Chantelle told the group that she had invited Jodie into the room with her, that they would all think she was a nice person and like her again. She then talked to herself alone in the garden and went to bed early on her own. I’m too scared to say here what I think of her. Delusional hormonal birds are the scariest thing out there.
Faria, was finally asked about Sven and got the whole thing off her chest. Yawn. No one cares. Please can she go now?
Traci and Dennis have bonded a little. Her LA drinking was referred to, by him, again. She must have really scared him.
It’s typical that on the night that I can stay up late for an additional report, that they have no alcohol. They are actually playing charades. Everyone seems happy enough, apart from George who has gone to bed early to meditate on tomorrow’s evictions.
One accessorised lab uniform.
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