big brother day 2

Dawn led Lisa & Pete in exercises first thing. I wish I had her free of charge for 3 months.

Glyn is a mute hobbit from The Lord of the Rings. I won’t be trying to steal his ring. It wouldn’t fit me. Not if it fit him. All his friends are at school!!!!!! Doing their A levels. He is so Welsh that I cannot understand a word he says. Not that he speaks much. Vote him out please, after Shebaz. Drip.

Nicki Bimbo to Bonnie “you don’t sound weird, I didn’t think you were from up North”. She is from Loughborough, not the Junction. Grace asked where Nicki’s volume switch is. The claws are out. Some of them suspect that she is a tart. Apparently she let it all hang out of her bunny girl costume.

I blame case gate. The BB founder members were called into the DR while the others watched them on TV – they did not know. Shebaz thought that he knew and warned Lisa. She didn’t believe him, or chose not to while she told BB that she doesn’t like Sezer and Bonnie. Cue faces like thunder, although Bonnie’s face is like a slapped arse anyway. They let Richard and Pete join the group. BB then told them that they could discuss the task with the group and some spoilsport told them that they had been watched while in the DR. Bonnie cried after being named and shamed while Sezer just mouthed off. Bonnie will fight back. Leah comforted her with her bosom for a pillow. Bonnie fears that she has an ASBO and that the situation will get her evicted. Lisa confronted the situation once she found out that she had been heard. Good on her. Sezer asked what she didn’t like about him and she replied “I find you slightly arrogant”. Who cares – I wouldn’t.

Nicki cried like a banshee in the DR because she is without her industrial strength mascara and remover to reapply and has no no clothes to put on. Dawn of all people brought her into the DR. Dawn!! I suspect it was for her own self-preservation. Bless, Nicki could barely prop her head up. She was a shadow of her former self. Her skull was shrunken. Her eyes were black. She was within an inch of consciousness, although she seemed fine later. She screamed to BB “I have a migraine. I need bottled water. I cannot drink tap water. I need my clothes. I need my clothes. I’m going home. I’m dehydrated. I’m a homeless tramp. I hate it. I f**king hate it here. And I am crying because of you, because you won’t give me my f**king clothes.” Picture Bonnie Langford. She will scream and scream and scream until she makes herself sick. SHE NEEDS TO BE THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BB for God’s sake have pity, on US, the viewer. Give her a mascara wand and no clothes to put on.

Pete prefers the girls’ company. When asked how he found the group, I don’t know if his response, “w****ers”, was an involuntary action or not. We’ll see.

George thinks he’s black but he is not. George is white and George is posh. He has used the words “respect” and “Daddy” in the DR. Surely he knows Ali G is not real. It’s cos he’s posh innit.

Sezer managed to snuggle in bed up with Imogen, tarts, both of em. They are most likely to snog each other first and then regret it afterwards. He showed her a photo of his mum and sister and then said he might be 10 minutes in the toilet???? W***er. That was the Pete in me. He also knows how big his Gran’s knickers are. Suspect. He later claimed that fat birds give you more in bed. He sees the show as a marathon and thinks that Shebaz will burn out. He would rather not have his suitcase than suck up to him. In the DR he called Shebaz the house buffoon, a bully, a drama queen and then said, “I don’t know if that’s his real character”. This is his real character. He’s the character out of Little Britain. Doh. He called him an embarrassment to gay men and warned him not to hussle a hussler. Ha ha. He called Lisa a geezer bird and common.

Shebaz meanwhile claims that the group do not understand him and that he was just having a theatrical moment for the whole of the previous night, a little bit of theatre. I wish he were a mime artist. He made Dawn cry. She is not the woman I thought she was. Unless her comeback is good. Richard told him to tone it down and begged to see the real him. God, this is the real him. Vote him out. He’s a vicious queen. They all had a pop at him and he threatened to leave. Zzzzzzzzzs. Whatever features a lot in his vocabulary. He asked BB if he could leave as the group did not like his leading lady act, his Mommy Dearest act, his Bet Davis act – yes he’s mad. BB would not let him leave (as he suspected all along) but he asked to go straight to bed with no encore. Hurrah. Oh oh, tears in the toilet first. As you know we got his encore this morning.

Strangely the Marigolds did not get a mention.

Cough. This is Lea before the house. Over 18s only please.