lesson #2 re-representation

Recalled in the order that it happened.

The first Estate Agent (do they get capital letters?) advised me that he would put the flat on the market at £220K. He advised me immediately to lay a bright carpet in the hallway. I have to admit that the new carpet in the shared hallway feels heavenly to walk on. He said that the kitchen and bathroom feel a little ‘tired’, at which point I felt physically pain. He may as well have stabbed me in the heart. I’ve never had the money to replace my avocado bathroom suite even though it clashes violently with my skin tone and makes me look ill when I am lying in it. I wince in pain whenever anyone sees it for the first time and always feel the need to apologise. A little sensitively would not have gone amiss. He should have seen it before. I still recall the pain of the 3 days of intensive de-grouting, re-grouting and painting the tiles that make up 80% of the wall space and (badly) laying the floor tiles that I went through last year. I’ve only meddled with the very smallest of DIY jobs since then because the pain can be recalled so easily. The kitchen only needs a few new doors in order to become a palace. It’s light, airy, well presented, functional and huge. There’s only so much that a single woman with a limited income and limited DIY skills can do on her own, for codenamed has had very few offers of help apart from Daddy. Sob. He also advised that I could possibly re-represent my funny room/study as either a bedroom or a dining room. I’m not going to do that as I do not have an extra bed and I have nowhere to put my stuff. Well, I might if the offers don’t come flooding in.

While waiting for the next estate agent, fuelled by caffeine, I arranged a carpet measuring for next Saturday. The man on the phone didn’t cope that well with me and explained that I had to choose a carpet before I could get measured. I don’t see the sense in that but I just blurted out that I’d have the same as the shared hallway and left it at that. I love my hallway with a painted floor but I can appreciate that people want carpet, hell even I’m looking forward to it now and wish I could have afforded it years ago.

I was more prepared for Estate Agent 2 and gave her some blurb as we walked around the East and West wings. I explained that I was arranging carpet for the hallway and that a double futon fitted quite easily in my funny room, and in fact looks bigger when it’s a bedroom. “No harm in showing that then” she said. I took it a lot better from her as she’s an obvious drinker and smoker and was positively down to earth. She told me that the average turn around time is 2 months. Goodness, if I could move in August that would be brilliant. August is quiet at work, hopefully, sunny and it would be in time to put up bird boxes in the hope that they could be nested in next year.

I couldn’t wait for her to leave but it was nothing personal. I just wanted to get down to Brixton and really chose some carpet. I chose a cheaper one, after all I am moving, and went up to see the very bored man behind the desk and explained that I had called earlier. He immediately recited my address to me without even consulting his notes. I apologised to him for being so excitable and explained that I was no calmer then and eventually we got there. I have picked a cream carpet in confidence, after seeing the carpet cleaning results at the shark’s UK gaff. I even chose some lino for the bathroom but I may renege on that.

I rang Mummy and Daddy and charted the progress. Mummy tried to pay for everything as she always tries to do. Bless. I have to fight her off all the time. I explained that I really, really appreciate the offer but perhaps I’d need the help more once I moved and maybe then she could buy me the bed that she desperately wants me to have. She hates me sleeping on a futon! And then I went barmy. Fuelled by a 4 mile run, 3 cups of strong coffee and just a bowl of cereal my mind went into overdrive. Unless I said, you buy me the bed now and I re-represent, as advised, my funny room, into a bedroom with my futon?????? “Great” she said and I ran to M&S for an egg and prawn roll and then to the end my road to buy a bargain but comfortable bed. It’s being delivered next Saturday. They had the gorgeous type of mattress that I slept on at the shark & TH’s NYC pad but sadly they were out of my reach.

So, sometime soon, when the Estate Agents come to take their photographs, I will have 2 bedrooms and carpet in the hallway. Brother Dom has yet to call me back as he’s not well, but I’m sure that he will have some ideas on how to waken up my ‘tired’ bathroom and kitchen. Well, he’d better, I’ve been waiting for nearly 10 years for him to finish off the fitted kitchen that he so excellently secured and fitted for me when I first moved in. Grrrrrr. Every girl needs her big bro.

I spent the rest of the day packing up bits and bobs (i.e. TOTAL CRAP THAT I WILL NEVER EVER NEED) to store at my parents until I move. I’m hoping to cycle there tomorrow so that I can store my bike there too. Weather permitting I have 6 hours of digging waiting for me in Daddy’s allotment. Oh, plus Mummy’s roast chicken. Yum.